Xander Harris and the Trip Through Hell
by ZebJeb
Summary: When the portal of Acathla opens, Xander jumps in to close the portal. Follows his journey through hell to find a way home. Badass Xander.
1. Chapter 1 - To Hell And Back

Xander Harris was, in many ways, a remarkable young man. He had fought against the darkness of the Hellmouth for two years now, ever since near the start of his Sophomore year at Sunnydale High School. In those years, he had faced off against countless vampires, stared down the Master Vampire Angelus, almost been turned into a fish monster, had been possessed by a Hyena Primal Spirit, and occasionally dared to talk back to his school principal. On a personal note, he even managed to form an intense and caring relationship with the self-proclaimed Queen of the school, Cordelia Chase. In most circumstances, he would have rightly been proud of his life. Alas, due to his company, he could never truly see any reason to be proud.

His best friend, Willow Rosenberg, was a genuine genius. She could hack into nearly any computer system, pass any test with little effort, and absorbed languages at such a quick rate that she was an invaluable resource in researching the weaknesses of the demons that stalked the streets. Not satisfied with that, she was also a budding witch, though she was still getting the hang of the basic skills and could just barely levitate a pencil. Xander was sure, if she survived this night, she would one day become a witch to be reckoned with.

His father figure, Rupert "Don't call me G-Man" Giles, was a Watcher. While Willow could run circles around Giles in anything technological, Giles's knowledge of Demon Lore and medieval weaponry would take years to ever equal. And, as Xander learned recently, he had a dark streak and a past as a warlock. Not only was he the one who directed research and always found the way to kill the demon of the day, he could kick some serious ass when the occasion called for it.

And then there was his hero (and unrequited crush), Buffy Summers, the Vampire Slayer. She was the superhero of the group, the one who willing went toe to toe with the demonic hordes and always be the only one to walk away alive. The day she arrived, Xander was introduced to the demons that hunted the people of Sunnydale. Shortly after her introduction, his best friend Jesse was turned into a vampire who Xander staked. From that moment, Xander swore to always help The Slayer. As he got to know the parts of Buffy that weren't The Slayer, he also swore to always be there for his friend Buffy.

Those three extraordinary individuals were enough to make Xander feel unremarkable, but then there were the ancillary significant others.

There was his own girlfriend, Cordelia. She was perhaps the most normal member of the group. But, she still had the reputation as the most popular girl in the school. And she was fearless in her criticism of others, super powers or not. Plus, there were the physical attributes that made Xander very happy to be her boyfriend. Xander never felt that he could quite measure up to her.

Willow's boyfriend, Daniel "Oz" Osbourne, was… well he was mostly just Willow's boyfriend and wasn't really all that involved with the fight. He mainly focused on protecting Willow (which made Xander like him very much). Even then, Oz was a guitarist in a band and a werewolf. He exuded a sense of coolness that Xander could never hope to match.

Finally, there was Buffy's kind of ex-Boyfriend. The Vampire With A Soul™ known as Angel (though he no longer had a soul and went by Angelus) aka Dead Boy aka Overbite aka Undead Liar Guy. He was… well he was a Master Vampire who had the powers and skills to make him an equal to Buffy. Xander knew that Angel had good attributes, but while others saw a man, all Xander ever saw was another vampire who needed to be staked. Before Xander knew Angel was a vampire, Xander knew him as a grown man trying to seduce a 15-year-old girl. After that, he saw a dead body trying to seduce a living girl and a vampire confusing a Vampire Slayer in her mission. In short, he really hated Dead Boy. But he couldn't deny the value he brought to the fight against the darkness.

With the company Xander kept, and with everyone's primary focus on supporting Buffy, it was unsurprising that such a remarkable young man would believe himself unremarkable. As far as he was concerned, he was the donut retriever, the comic relief, and the human shield. Had he (or others) given him a critical look, they would have realized that he held within him a will of iron when it came to the fight against the demonic hordes and an indomitable spirit when it came to the protection of his loved ones. He fought for the people of the world, yes, but more specifically he fought for his friends. He fought for Willow. He fought for Buffy. He fought for Cordelia. He fought for Giles. He didn't really fight for Oz. Screw Dead Boy!

Speaking of Dead Boy and the previously mentioned recent lack of soul, that is what brought him to where he was at this moment in time. Currently driving Oz's van to meetup with Buffy. Tonight, Angelus was preparing to open the portal to the Demonic Realm of Acathla. If successful, the world would be sucked into a Hell Dimension of eternal torment. Buffy, who had finally gotten up the nerve to kill Angelus (despite desperately wanting her true love, Angel, to somehow return), was making her way to stop Angelus and possibly rescue a kidnapped Giles. Xander was rushing to meet her to provide whatever support he could.

As he pulled up near her, he remembered Willow's last request to him. Willow, despite having just woken up from a coma and being a novice witch, was going to try to cast a spell to shove Angel's soul back into his body. A spell that was a dubious translation of a Romani spell that required an entire coven of experienced witches. If the world wasn't on the line or if anyone agreed with his concerns, Xander would have tried harder to stop Willow from trying. As it was, Xander was certain that Willow would fail and just hoped that she wouldn't die from the attempt. Willow had asked Xander to tell Buffy that the spell was going to be cast. As far as Xander was concerned, this would be his last time seeing Willow alive and this was her last request.

Xander wasn't sure what to do. Should he honor Willow's last request? Would telling Buffy cause her to lose her will to fight with all her being? Perhaps Willow would die tonight, but should he risk the lives of his other loved ones to fulfil Willow's request? When he thought of it like that, the answer was obvious.

Xander chose to tell Buffy that Willow had said "Kick his ass". The evening progressed as Apocalypse nights often progress, with a supernatural sense of drama. Xander searched out Giles, while Buffy searched for Angelus. Giles was found alive, but severely tortured. Buffy found Angelus, preparing to open the portal to Acathla's Dimension.

As Xander helped Giles to Oz's van, Giles revealed that the key to opening the portal was Angelus's blood. While closing the portal would require both Angelus's blood and a bodily sacrifice (assuming the portal hadn't grown too big to close). Believing Buffy should know this information, he left Giles in the back of Oz's van with the car keys and headed back into the mansion.

Xander returned in time to watch Buffy fight. It was… amazing. Watching as she fought Angelus, sword to sword. Gone was her hesitation, gone was her holding on to hope, she had finally accepted Angel was gone and she was just fighting nothing more than a vampire. Xander slowly crept around the perimeter, nearing the statute of Acathla. He wanted to be there if needed. And then, Angelus stopped and fell to his knees, dropping his sword. Xander's stomach dropped out when he heard Buffy say "Angel?".

At that moment, he knew that Willow had, despite the improbability of it, succeeded in returning Angel's soul. Xander internally mourned the likely death of his best friend, of his Willow. He silently watched as Buffy tearfully hugged her beloved Angel. He watched in horror as he saw the mouth of the statue open and a small portal began to form. Looking down, he saw a sword at his feet. Picking it up, he heard Buffy tell Angel to close his eyes. Xander looked into Buffy's eyes and knew what was going to happen next, and his loyalty to his friend and hero demanded only one response.

"Buffy! Stop!"

Buffy looked up in shock to see Xander, her sword frozen in preparation of running Angel through, and her emotions stalling her thought processes at that moment. All she could do was respond on automatic. "Xander?"

"Pull him away from the portal, Buff". Buffy didn't even notice herself following the command as she pulled Angel from the growing portal. Angel just looked at Xander with an expression of pure befuddlement. Xander looked at the portal, then back at the couple.

He began to speak hurriedly. "Damn it! Buffy, Giles is in the van outside, he has the keys and needs to get to the hospital. When you see Oz, punch him in the stomach for letting Willow do the spell. If Willow is alive… tell her I'm sorry for lying about what she said. Dead Boy, keep it in your pants and don't blow this chance. Believe me when I say I hate you and I get great joy from doing this". Xander then thrust his sword into and out of Angel's side, eliciting a scream from the recently ensouled vampire.

Ignoring Angel's cry and Buffy's angry "Xander!", Xander looked at Buffy. "Buffy, I will always love you! You're my hero, and I'm glad to go out saving you". Xander then leapt back into the portal.

A moment later, the portal closed and all that was left in the room was a shocked Slayer, a wounded Vampire, and a deactivated stone demon.

Xander Harris… was gone.

* * *

For Buffy, the rest of the evening passed in a blur. Though a large part of her wanted to run away, she felt she owed it to Xander to stay and honor his requests. Indeed, over the following years, subconsciously she would often find herself asking "What would Xander say?".

Giles was taken to the hospital, where he was put on the road to recovery. Angel stayed in Oz's van, rightly believing that people would not want to see him at that moment. Oz was surprised by the strong to the gut punch that he received from Buffy, though he felt he got off lightly upon hearing that Xander thought Oz was letting Willow commit suicide. Willow broke down in tears upon hearing what happened and would later start taking lessons from Giles to refine her magic, as a way of proving to Xander's memory that she was willing to take magic seriously. Cordelia simply… looked lost.

Buffy took all of this in, but she was too emotionally exhausted to truly care. Xander, the normal one, was gone. He had saved her from having to follow through on the most heart wrenching decision of her life. He had known what she was going to do, and he stopped her. She knew that he had done it for her, and her alone. His hatred of Angel was not a secret and she knew he would have thrown a private party if ever head the news that Angel had become dust in the wind. He hadn't saved Angel, he had saved Buffy. He threw himself into Hell, without hesitation, simply to save his hero, to save his friend, to save his… love. In doing so, he had saved the world. A normal person had saved the world. Not a mystical warrior, or a vampire, or a witch, or anyone with a mystical destiny, just a normal person who refused to back down. As these thoughts continued to repeat and fragment, a subconscious part of her mind finally let go of the idea that this was her war alone and everyone else was simply support.

Though the pain of Xander's loss lingered throughout the group, the world continued to move forward. While small changes did crop up from his loss, the world was largely unchanged. The Big Bads of the world continued their plots and the machinations of secret military programs were unaffected. Time moved on, and the pain dulled.

Still, things did change when the new Slayer, Faith Lehane, introduced herself. Buffy, more at peace with sharing her burden as Slayer, brought Faith home with her. Buffy's mom, Joyce, was convinced to take in Faith to live in the spare bedroom. Willow and Cordelia, not feeling jealousy prompted by Xander's drooling at the highly attractive new Slayer, welcomed and befriended Faith. With a lack of conflict, Giles was able to equally share his attention for the two Slayers. Instead of continuing as a loner, Faith found acceptance and a family. A family who supported her when she accidentally killed a man in the middle of a fight with a gang of vampires, keeping her from ever walking down a road of darkness.

Without Xander around, Cordelia never met the criteria as a scorned woman. As such, the Vengeance Demon Anyanka never came to Sunnydale. Anyanka never lost her powers, becoming Anya. Without Anya, the improbably series of events never occurred that would see Buffy Summers coming into possession of a Troll God Hammer.

The end of the school year still ended with the Mayor turning into a giant snake demon during graduation. He was subsequently killed by the two troublesome Slayers leading him on a chase through the school and into the school library filled with explosives (an idea that came about when Buffy asked the group "What would Xander say?"). After the victory and destruction of Sunnydale High, Angel still left for Los Angeles followed by Cordelia and Faith (she loved her new family but wanted to spread her wings and keep Angel safe for Buffy's peace of mind).

The next year at Sunnydale University went largely as it would have gone had Xander remained. Willow and Oz still ended up breaking up, and Willow met and fell in love with a fellow witch named Tara. Buffy started a relationship with a soldier named Riley. And the group ended up having to fight a Cyborg-Demon Hybrid named Adam. An enjoining spell was cast, with Riley acting as the heart for the spell, though his contribution was less effective than Xander's would have been, they still defeated Adam. But, having been joined with the group, Riley came to understand that while Buffy truly appreciated his contribution to the fight, he was a placeholder for Buffy's heart. Riley would end up leaving Buffy and Sunnydale before the next year was done.

The year after Adam saw the birth of Buffy's younger sister, Dawn. Though everyone remembered her as Buffy's sister, she was in fact The Key to the seal between dimensions made flesh in the form of a 14-year-old girl. When Buffy realized Dawn's status, she asked herself what Xander would say, and immediately shared the news with Dawn, Faith (who came to visit), and her mom while making sure Dawn knew that she was their family no matter what her origins. This had a remarkably calming effect and prevented a great deal of needless angst over the remainder of the year.

As the year progressed, Buffy kept running into an extremely powerful blonde woman. The woman, Glory, was eventually revealed to be a Hell Goddess who fed on the sanity of the residents of Sunnydale (leaving her victims in the mental wards of the many hospitals in town). She was seeking The Key (though did not it was Dawn), so she could return to her home dimension. Using The Key in such a fashion would lead to the unfortunate side effect of Buffy's dimension being annihilated. Despite hiding Dawn away as best she could, everything came to a head after Tara had her sanity eaten by Glory and Dawn was revealed as The Key. In short order, Dawn was bleeding at the top of a rickety tower with a portal opening below her in mid-air, with her sister standing in front of her. On the ground, Willow had just dropped from magical exhaustion and Glory (no longer slowed by the witch's spells) stared up at the portal in joy (without any true weapon to fight a god, like a Troll God Hammer, the Scoobys hadn't had much of a hope in this fight).

* * *

Dawn Summers looked down through the grate of the tower into the heart of the violently storming portal. Dread filled her heart, as she touched the shallow cuts on her skin and looked at the blood shining on her fingertips. Her blood. Her blood opened this portal, and it would stay open while her blood still flowed. It was unfair. It was so damned unfair. She had memories of a full life, but she had only truly come into existence less than a year ago. She wanted a full life, damnit, and she wasn't even going to make it a full year. Now, there was only one path she could take.

Buffy looked at the portal and then at her sister. She looked into Dawn's eyes and saw something that she was certain Xander had seen in her own eyes all those years ago. Dawn's eyes spoke of a terrible decision being made and the welling up of courage to follow through. Buffy prepared herself and caught Dawn as she tried to make a break for the edge of the tower after apologizing to Buffy.

Dawn begged for Buffy to let her go. She explained that the portal would not close until her blood stopped flowing. That it had to be her. She couldn't let the world die. As Dawn explained, and begged for Buffy to understand, the portal shot out a bolt of electricity and a large black dragon appeared in the skies of Sunnydale. The dragon gave off a terrible screech and flew past the two girls. Buffy and Dawn only registered the dragon enough to ensure they were knocked over by it, so they did not notice a tall cloaked figure riding the dragon who was holding a sword wreathed in a vibrant green aura.

As Dawn talked about her blood, begging for Buffy to let her save the world. Buffy focused in on Dawn's blood shining on her fingers and realized that there was another option than sacrificing Dawn. Dawn and Buffy were sisters, regardless of mystical origins. Dawn's blood and Buffy's blood were alike. Perhaps they were enough alike that Buffy could take Dawn's place. She prayed that was the case, though knew that if her own blood didn't close the portal then Dawn would likely jump anyway. At least this way, there was a chance of Dawn's survival. As she prepared herself to sacrifice her life, she explained to Dawn about the blood, she told Dawn to give her love to everyone, and begged Dawn to live her life. With her last words said, she turned towards the edge of the tower preparing to make her leap.

With a smile, she remembered the words spoken to her years ago in front of another portal. Words she never shared with anyone. She looked back at her sister with a sad smile and spoke. "Dawn, I will always love you! You're my hero, and I'm glad to go out saving you". With that she ran and leapt off the tower towards the raging portal below. As she ran, she didn't notice the dragon racing towards the portal. As she leapt, she didn't notice the rider pointing his sword at the portal.

Mere inches from the portal, as a tendril of electric energy snaked towards Buffy, a bright green light slammed into the tendril. The tendril dissipated, and the light barreled on into the center of the portal. The portal collapsed in on itself, and instead falling into a portal, Buffy fell through the empty space and into the arms of the dragon rider. The rider whispered into the Slayer's ear as the dragon landed on the ground below, and Buffy grabbed the rider in a hug that was clearly not likely to end anytime soon.

The rider dismounted the dragon, and an inhuman cry of rage filled the air. An extremely angry Hell Goddess stomped up to the rider. "YOU! All I wanted to do was go home and get off this pathetic excuse of a mudball in this depressing little dimension, and I was … ALMOST… THERE! You closed my portal, and I am going to have to setup a brand-new ritual with my Key. Now, before I rip your arms off your body and beat you and your dragon to death with them, do you have any final words to say? You know, besides 'Ow, my arm! Please stopping beating me!'"

The rider pulled the hood of his cloak down, revealing his face. A familiar smiling face looked into the eyes of the blonde, stylishly dressed, and enraged Hell Goddess and spoke three words. "Hello Morning Glory".

Glory took one step back in surprise. And then, speaking in a previously unheard tentative voice, silently addressed the man. "Uncle Xan?"

With a nod from the man, he suddenly found himself being tightly hugged by two blonde super powered women.

Everyone else present and aware just wordlessly stared as their brains tried to make sense of two mortal enemies, Slayer and Hell Goddess, hugging the same man. A man who couldn't possibly be standing there, and yet clearly was.

Xander Harris… was back.


	2. Chapter 2 - Glory Departs

Xander Harris was happy.

Happy was of course a completely insufficient descriptor for his emotions. After his journeys, his battles, his years trying to make his way home, his heart felt as if it would burst out of his chest in pure joy. Feeling two of his favorite ladies (Buffy and Glory) hugging him made him feel completely at home. Seeing his best friend, Willow, alive and well made him feel like shouting out a primal scream of gratitude to the universe. Seeing the befuddled look on the face of a battered Giles, made him feel a nostalgia for a past long since thought lost. No, one word could hardly express the utter extremes and complexities of his emotions. But, if one word had to be chosen, happy would have to do. Perhaps, to express the purity of that emotion, a two-word descriptor would better suffice.

Xander Harris was purely happy.

As Xander held Buffy in one arm, her body curled up and with her head on his chest, he looked down at the other woman occupying his other arm. A fond expression formed on his face. A sight which shocked the observers. The Hell Goddess, Glory (aka Glorificus), had been the bane of their lives for the past year. A psychopathic engine of death and destruction, whose cruelty was only matched by her clear insanity. The observers' minds were stuck trying to comprehend this powerful foe acting like a little girl hugging her dad after his returning from a long business trip.

Xander tucked a lock of Glory's hair behind her ear and gave her a gentle kiss on the top of her head before he began speaking to her in a voice full of gentleness and love. "So, this is where you got to, Morning Glory. You know, your father was so upset at your brothers for tripping you into that portal. How long have you ended up being in this dimension?"

Glory sobbed into Xander's shoulder. "More than twenty years"

Xander grimaced. "I'm sorry Morning Glory. That had to be so tough on you, your energy draining from you for so long. Did it get bad enough for you to have to feed off the locals?"

Glory paused and then silently nodded her head into his shoulder.

Xander silently sighed and kissed her head again. "It's OK sweetheart. I take it the portal was so unstable because you tried to force The Key to take you home, instead of asking?"

Glory's nod was even smaller.

Xander looked around at everyone watching and mouthed a silent "sorry", then looked back down at Glory. "OK, I'm not going to lecture you about why that was a bad idea. We both know that you know better, and it was the drain psychosis talking. I'll send you back home now, and then your dad can help get you back into shape."

Glory lifted her head and looked into Xander's eyes, her eyes glistening with unshed tears of joy. "Really!? … Is dad mad at me?"

Xander chuckled. "No, honey, he's been worried about you all this time. And your brothers will also be happy to see you, they've been suffering through their punishment all this time. Someone, I'm not saying who, may have suggested to your dad that they should be forced to clean the hound pens until you returned. That unnamed honorary uncle may have also suggested that they do it by hand and with no powers."

Glory giggled. "You're horrible, Uncle Xan. Can we go now?"

Xander shook his head. "I'm afraid not going, Morning Glory. This is my home dimension and these people are the friends I told you about. So, it will be a while before I come to visit again."

Glory's eyes widened, and she gulped loudly. "These are the Scoobies?"

Xander smiled indulgently. "Yes, they are, and I suspect you will owe them an apology before you go. But, first, you have to return the mental energy back to the people you fed on."

Glory whined. "But, Uncle Xaaaaaaan!"

Xander's eyes hardened. "A certain honorary uncle can still suggest that a certain wayward Hell Goddess needs some time in the hound pens too, to make sure she learned her lesson".

Glory's eyes filled with panic. "You didn't let me finish. I was going to say 'but, Uncle Xaaaaaan, I would be happy to do that'".

Glory raised her face to the sky and a solid river of white energy flowed from her eyes into the sky. The energy flew rapidly to every corner of the globe Glory had fed, and into the eyes of the various people milling around the base of the tower, including a smaller portion of energy flowing into the eyes of the young woman holding Willow. As the energy entered each person, the confusion and listlessness left their faces as they regained their sanity. For many, the confusion returned, but that was more of a function of suddenly finding themselves milling around an unfamiliar rickety tower.

Xander looked at the pained face of his honorary niece and kissed her head again. "I know it hurts, but you'll be home in a second. Now, give me another hug and then let me use my sword arm again. While I open the portal, you can apologize to my friends."

Glory hugged Xander hard, and then let go. She stepped away and Xander pointed his sword at a spot on the ground. As green energy swirled around the sword, Glory looked to a gaping Dawn Summers (aka The Key). "I'm sorry I tried to force you to open a portal to my home. I should have asked you nicely."

As Xander's sword shot a beam of green energy at the ground, Glory looked at the silent crowd of onlookers that had previously been fighting desperately against her earlier that evening. "I'm sorry I tried to kill everyone on your planet and destroy your dimension. That's my bad."

Glory looked down at the swirly and stable portal on the ground. As she felt the familiar energies of her home dimension leaking through the portal and beginning to heal the damage to her mind and essence, she looked at Xander. "I'm glad you found your home Uncle Xan. Make sure you come visit me again. Thanks for finding me. I'm glad dad decided to not try too hard in eviscerating you."

With that, Glory stepped into the portal and disappeared. With another stream of green energy from Xander's sword, the portal was gone.

He sheathed his sword and looked up at his old friends with a large smile on his face. "So, G-Man, why aren't you wearing tweed?"

With that, everyone's minds finished rebooting and their silent stupefaction came to an end.

* * *

Xander felt at home the moment the barrage of questions began to be thrown at him. Giles was throwing a series of questions about what had just happened mixed with a healthy dollop of British curse words. Willow was asking a rapid series of questions about where Xander had been and how he got back, while seemingly being emotionally torn between running to hug him and continuing to hug the young lady next to her. Dawn was more interested in asking about the dragon. And Spike, the bleach blonde Vampire, just stood there.

Xander frowned at that last thought, and then looked back at the milling people standing in hospital gowns.

"Hold up! Guys! Listen, I will answer all your questions. But we should probably get all these people off the streets and back to the hospital. I know the sun is coming out, but I assume dark alleys are still dangerous around here?" The question being directed at Giles.

Giles, thrown off from asking his stream of unanswered questions, looked around the tower base and truly, for the first time, took in the people standing around with confused expressions. Before this moment, they had been unwitting foot soldiers for Glory, but now they were just innocent victims again. His Watcher training kicked in to help regain his composure as he responded. "Yes, quite right. You are, of course, correct that they should not be left to wander these streets by themselves. I also suppose it would be for the best to ask these questions in a more… private setting."

"Sounds great! But first… should I dust Spike?"

"Ah, no. I am afraid not. He was recently implanted with a chip of some sort, that prevents him from touching humans with harmful intent. Somewhat unbelievably, he has even become a bit of an uneasy ally."

Xander, surprisingly, just shrugged his shoulders. "Fair enough. If the chip ever fails, of if you change your mind, I'll make sure to end him quickly"

Spike snorted in response. "Like Droopy could even lay a finger on me."

In the blink of an eye, Spike was slammed up against a nearby wall. An exceptionally sharp sword was pressed firmly against his neck, and Spike found himself staring into the eyes of a suddenly serious Xander Harris. When Xander spoke, all traces of joviality and kindness were gone.

"Listen closely, Demon, because I rarely give warnings and I never give them twice. They may believe you to be harmless, and even believe you capable of one day becoming a true ally. I know the truth though. You are not harmless, you will never be harmless, and you are only an ally because you find it to be to your benefit. Giles said you couldn't touch people, so that means no fighting back if Buffy came after you, but I'm guessing it also means non-humans are available targets. Your history speaks of a demon who took joy in visiting violence upon others, and I doubt that lust for violence has disappeared. So, it's a fair bet that you get your jollies off slaughtering demons now. Your… alliance is one of convenience and survival."

"Know this, Demon, you have proven that you know how to harm humans without directly touching them. You have proven you can be just as devious as you can be vicious. Most importantly, you have proven that you should always be thought of as a deadly threat. You may lull the others into complacency, but I always see you as the evil being that you are."

Spike felt the sword press harder against his throat, feeling not even the slightest tremor or twitch evident in the dangerous man's muscles. Thoughts of throwing out casual insults disappeared as he focused all his attention on the words being spoken. "Now here is your one warning, Demon, if you ever harm one of my loved ones, or an innocent, I will end you. There will be no quippage, prolonged fight to show who is superior, or final victory speech. I will simply find you and destroy you. You have proved to be far too dangerous and wily for me to even think about toying with you."

Xander then stepped back and lowered his sword. Spike noticed that Buffy was still held in Xander's non-sword arm and was smiling peacefully as she curled into his chest. Xander's smile returned and his voice became jovial again. "Now, the sun is about to fill in the remaining shadows. So, I recommend making your way to the sewers if you don't wish to get a tan."

Spike looked up and saw that he only had about half a minute to spare. He moved at vampiric speeds and was in the sewers before most of the people could recognize that he had started to run. As the manhole cover finished settling above him, he found himself smiling. It had been a long time since someone had treated him like the Big Bad that he was, and even longer since he had been told he was too dangerous to toy with. Of course, he would never hurt Dawn, his Little Bit, but it still felt nice to be appreciated.

Up above, Xander looked over at his friends and sighed. They were once again frozen in shock. "You know, it's going to get irritating if you just keep freezing up every time I say or do something shocking. Tweed up people!"

As Xander's friends shook off the shock (Giles muttered 'Tweed up? It really is Xander'), Xander looked over at the dragon, who had been waiting patiently. Xander spoke to the dragon with great affection. "You look as magnificent as ever boy, but Sunnydale is not great ready for a dragon as awesome as you. Maybe try something a bit more inconspicuous, Ripper?". The dragon huffed a puff of smoke in irritation and then shrank and transformed into a black and light brown furred wiener dog with a lolling tongue. Xander scratched the dog's ears and chuckled. "Smartass dragon. Don't blame me if the girls start cuddling you and trying to dress you up in cute outfits."

Xander turned to the former mental patients who now found themselves with questioning their newly returned sanities. "OK people, there were a series of gas leaks and you all went a bit loopy. Please follow me and we'll get you back to the hospital, and then you can get checked out and back home to your families."

With that, Xander began to lead the patients, Scoobies, and wiener dog down the street and off to the nearest hospital.

Half a block down the road, Xander stopped and looked over at Willow. "Um, it's been a while, Wills. Where's the nearest hospital?"

Willow rolled her eyes at the classic Xander moment and pointed her finger. With that, Xander turned 180 degrees and began to lead the patients, Scoobies, and wiener dog (which was barking in a way that sounded suspiciously like a mocking laugh) going the opposite direction down the street and off to the nearest hospital.

* * *

With the patients safe at the hospital, and already starting to be taken home by grateful families, the remaining demon fighters made their way towards Buffy's house. Buffy still being held up with one of Xander's arms, and the dog/dragon named Ripper occasionally rushing into a dark alleyway followed by a startled shout and the dog running back out while shaking ashes off his snout.

While everyone had many questions, they all had independently decided to hold the questions to themselves until they had reached Buffy's home. All except for one Dawn Summers.

Halfway to their destination, Dawn moved to walk next to Xander with a worried yet determined look on her face. Silently, she spoke just loud enough for Xander to hear her.

"Do you… remember me?"

Xander felt Buffy's muscles tighten slightly and her head shift slightly to listen better. This had been the first real response to outside stimulus that Buffy had demonstrated. He squeezed her slightly to reassure her.

Xander smiled at Dawn. "Of course, I do, Dawn Patrol. You Summers girls are unforgettable. How could you think I would ever forget you?"

"You heard Glory's… 'apology'. You know… what I am!"

Xander sighed slightly. "Yes, I do. You are Buffy's little sister. You are Joyce's daughter. You are my friend. You are a young woman who is finding her way in the world, and who I am sure will grow into an amazing adult. You are Dawn Summers. As for what you are really asking about, you are also the human avatar of The Key. That last bit is simply what you are, the rest is who you are. Who you are is vastly more important than what you are. Always remember that!"

Dawn's eyes glistened, but her expression remained determined. Forcing herself to speak words she would rather not say. "I'm not... I'm not Buffy's little sister. We love each other as family, but I didn't exist until this year. The Key is not just what I am, it is who I am. Buffy tried to sacrifice her life for me, and I'm not even human! How can you even think of me like a person when your memories of me are all fake!?"

Xander's face scrunched into confusion. "Why do you think my memories of you are fake?"

"The monks that made me into a person also gave me and everyone fake memories, to help fool Buffy into protecting me. I know that she loves me, but… it's all built on a lie."

Xander's eyes widened. "Who told you that?"

"One of the monks"

Xander chuckled. "Dawn, as a person who has spent quite a bit of time trying to find his way to his home dimension, believe me when I say that I am well versed on the nature of The Key. An entity that has the power to get me home… of course I researched it! The most important thing to know is that The Key is so insanely powerful that nothing can force it to do something it doesn't want without causing crazy amounts of collateral damage. Those beings that are powerful enough to attempt to force The Key are also smart enough to not do it, and the others just fail and are usually destroyed for trying. Human monks are not nearly powerful enough to force The Key into human form, all they can do is cast a spell that is the equivalent of a polite request. You are here because The Key agreed to make you its avatar, and The Key does not mess around with something as weak as simple memory alteration effects. The Key has power over all dimensions, including time. You have existed since the day your mom conceived you."

Dawn looked over at Xander with an expression of tentative hope. "But, how is that possible? I mean, when mom was sick, before… well, she sometimes couldn't remember me as being real."

Xander got nervous at the way Dawn talked about her mother but felt now was not the time to open a potential can of worms. "Your mom wasn't dealing with false memories, Dawn Patrol. She was dealing with memories of a deleted timeline. I dealt with the same thing."

Xander noticed that the rest of the Scoobies had gotten close enough to listen and were clearly interested in hearing more.

"You see, a while back, I was talking to Glory's father. And, I started to feel my head filling with duplicated memories and sometimes slightly different memories. Frank, that's Glory's father and his real name causes my tongue to bleed, is a fully matured Hell God. He felt the wave of changes to the timeline washing over all of reality, and his nature allows him to understand exactly what was happening. Basically, The Key manipulated time to ensure it could be conceived as you, and then it forced the original timeline to remain tightly coupled so that the changes were minor enough and non-cascading, so it could force the timelines to come together like teeth in a zipper and ending with only one timeline at the point where the monks cast the spell. In short, The Key rewrote reality to ensure that your past is very real. Incidentally, that level of power is also why most entities leave The Key alone."

Dawn's face was slack in shock. "So… I'm really… real?"

Xander smiled at the open look of relief in Dawn's eyes. "Yes. You're really real."

Xander then found his free arm filled with the younger Summers sister, and the two sisters curled into his chest hugging him and each other.

"G-Man, I think you're going to need to get the door for me when we get there"

* * *

Soon enough, the group made it to the Summers house. While Giles and Willow were eager to hear Xander's tale, they agreed with him that they should probably give everyone a chance to sleep and recover from the stress of the previous evening. This agreement was made easier considering that Buffy and Dawn were clearly not interested in talking, nor in letting in letting go of their Xander-shaped safety blanket. And Tara was likewise holding on to Willow with all her strength.

Willow and Tara took off for the master bedroom to cuddle. Giles laid down on the couch. And Xander ended up laying on Buffy's bed, with Dawn and Buffy using his chest as a pillow while hugging each other.

Soon enough, everyone in the house was sleeping peacefully for the first time in months.

As Buffy drifted off to sleep, she felt safe. She was certain that everything that had happened after her leap into the portal was either a dying dream or the afterlife. Once she knew that the dragon rider was Xander, she had known that it couldn't be real. The world had thoroughly proven that it was a cruel place for Buffy Summers. Much too cruel to allow for the miracle of a living Xander returning to her. Certainly, the world was too cruel to let Glory be removed without further harming people, or to give everyone back their sanity (especially poor Tara), or to ease the last of Dawn's doubts about her nature. No, this wasn't real, but this just might be heaven. For now, she would simply accept the joy of the moment, and ignore the small (and growing) part of her mind that was telling her that this was real life. She embraced the happiness of hugging her long-lost friend and her baby sister, while drifting off to the sound she had been enjoying since Xander caught her. The strong and steady beat of Xander's heart.

Buffy Summers was purely happy.


	3. Chapter 3 - Welcome to Hell

As her stomach began to growl, Buffy cuddled into her pillow. She had been having such a wonderful dream. Xander was back, Glory was gone, Tara was restored, Dawn was safe, and Buffy was happy. She could still feel the warmth of Xander's body and hear the beat of his heart, and she didn't want to wake up to the cruel reality of the world. Still, she kept getting closer to being fully awake and yet the warmth and heartbeat never lessened. As she felt fingers gently brush some hair out of her face, she groaned in mild frustration. It was probably Giles or Willow trying to be nice. Slowly she opened her eyes to look up at the hair toucher. Tilting her head up, she saw the gently smiling face of Xander Harris looking down at her.

Tentatively, afraid her voice would make him disappear, she whispered. "Xander?"

Xander whispered back just as softly. "Hey Buffster. Sleep well?"

"Are we in Heaven?"

"I'm pretty sure you don't have to worry about your tummy having the rumblies in Heaven"

"… Are we in Hell?"

Xander chuckled. Buffy enjoyed the sound it made as her ear was still pressed to his chest. "Well, unless things have changed more around here than I thought, we are Hell adjacent. But, still on the good side of the old Hell Mouth"

"So… you're really here? You're back?"

"I'm really, really here"

"And Glory?"

"Back home with her family"

"And you're back… for good?"

"I'm back for good"

Buffy's smile spread from ear to ear, staring up at the boy (man now) who had saved her once again. As she stared into his kind and smiling eyes, she felt the weight of the past several years finally lift from her soul. Soon, all the guilt, all the regrets, all the nights she prayed for his safe return from Hell, all of it came rolling back over her and she found herself crying cleansing tears of release into his shirt.

Shortly after the tears started, Dawn awoke to her sister's cries. As her mind caught up with Xander being there, she joined Buffy in crying. Within minutes, a groggy Willow had come to the room and went through the same mental process as Dawn, and then flung herself into the bed to join in crying with the two other girls. Xander took this in stride, basking in their love and caring, stroking their hair and backs.

From the bed, Xander saw the blonde girl (Tara, if he recalled correctly). She was standing in the doorway, looking at Willow with a deep love in her eyes. He caught her eye, and they shared a brief smile of acknowledgement. Shortly after, Giles joined her in the doorway. She whispered in his ear and left.

Giles stood in the doorway, watching as the young women he thought of as daughters hugged the remarkable young man who had once again saved them all from a terrible fate. He felt a warmth fill his heart that was rare to feel in a town like Sunnydale. He just watched as his children-in-spirit rejoiced in their reunion to one thought long lost.

As the minutes ticked by, Xander watched a thin sheen of tears form in Giles's eyes. Xander's lips turned up in a small smirk. "There's room for one more G-Man. Want to hop in?"

Giles fought to keep his smile to a properly British level of "small upturn", while the girls found their tears turning to giggles. Giles cleared his throat. "No, I believe I shall somehow restrain myself on this occasion. Now, I will leave you four to your… this. I believe that Tara should soon have lunch ready, and I fear that she is still very American when it comes to make a proper cup of tea. As such, I believe I will oversee that step of our lunch preparation."

As Giles turned around, he heard the familiar loud growl of his Slayer's stomach, and a surprisingly loud growl from Xander's stomach as well. With a grin he walked downstairs as he heard the quartet standing up to follow him.

* * *

Lunch was a basic affair, consisting of sizable sandwiches and plentiful coffee. Most of the conversation revolved around giving brief highlights to Xander about the past years, and Xander getting to know Tara a little bit. Willow beamed when Xander expressed his happiness for her relationship with Tara, and Tara was pleased to discover that Xander was not even remotely unwelcoming. Xander's pet dragon in wiener dog form, Ripper, happily sat under the table accepting scraps from Xander and all the girls. By unspoken agreement they decided to hold off on interrogating Xander until after lunch.

With filled stomachs and the stress of the previous evening mostly drained from the group, they adjourned to the living room. Xander sat on the couch sandwiched between Buffy and Dawn, with Buffy continuing to ensure she was in physical contact with Xander. While she now had accepted that this was the real world and she was alive, a small part of her was convinced that Xander would disappear if she let him go (which made for a bemused Xander when she embarrassedly ran out of the bathroom).

Willow took the armchair, with Tara sitting on her lap. Giles sat in the remaining chair and arranged it to look at Xander. Much to Xander's amusement, Ripper jumped up onto Giles's lap and cuddled his head into the Brit's hand. With all eyes focused on him, Xander grinned and shrugged his shoulders. "So, I guess this is when everyone would like to get their questions answered. Shoot!"

Xander rolled his eyes as everyone, predictably, talked over each other with the hundreds of questions they had. "Why don't I just start from the beginning, and you can ask questions as we go?"

Taking the silence as consent. "OK, so let's start from when I arrived in Acathla's dimension…"

* * *

Several feet above the ground of a landscape that could be rightfully described as hellish (this being a hell dimension), a swirling portal appeared. As luck would have it, this specific section of Acathla's hell dimension was not very popular and so only one demon was there to observe the portal's appearance. The demon looked at the portal with glee and hunger. It knew that as the portal's size increased, the stronger denizens would start to flock to this location, but it could still hope for a chance to be the first to get its jaws on mortal flesh. A hope that seemed to be likely to come true as it heard a scream and saw a human fall from the portal. It was disappointing to see the portal close and disappear, but on the bright side the demon had first crack at the human.

Xander Harris groaned as he stood up from the cracked red ground, grasping his sword. Nervously, he took in his surroundings. The sky was an ugly brown, filled with unholy streaks of fire racing across the atmosphere and filling the air with choking smoke that made every breath a burning misery. The landscape was full of dry cracked red ground, leading in an upward slope towards a distant castle. Not a drop of water or shelter could be seen, while shadows shifted wildly as the light of the sky fires lit the world erratically. And, most pressing, there was a demon slowly walking towards him.

The demon was six feet tall and appeared to be made of pure muscle. Its dark purple skin was caked in the red dust of the ground. One could almost think of the demon as a strong looking human, except for the 6-inch-long claws adorning each finger and the mouth containing multiple rows of razor-sharp teeth. A wicked and dangerous smile formed on the demon's face as Xander stared into blood-red eyes. It flicked its eyes towards Xander's sword and barked out a cruel laugh, seemingly daring him to fight back. Obligingly, Xander raised his sword and prepared for the fight. The demon then sprinted forward in what seemed to be a blur.

Xander was not necessarily a bad fighter. In fact, when compared to an overwhelming majority of humanity, he was probably ranked as one of the top fighters of the supernatural. Unfortunately, that spoke more to the inexperience and inability of the rest of humanity and explained the desperate need for the Slayer. While Xander could stake the occasional vampire when it was focused on Buffy, he was painfully aware of the fact that he worked best as support. He was not a heavy hitter, he was a self-taught fighter who swung a sword like a club, and his primary technique for one-on-one fights with demons was to either run or distract it long enough for Buffy to help. As such, the start of the fight (while painful) did not come as a surprise.

Before Xander could even swing the sword, the blur passed him, and he felt pain blossom in his chest. Looking down, he saw his shirt ripped to shreds and blood pouring from huge gouges in his chest. He looked back at the smiling demon, when a flash of fire brightened the sky directly above and a tendril of flame sped down to his body and directly into his wounds. The pain was excruciating, it felt like the fire was scraping every nerve in his body with a rusty nail. Then the tendril left his body and returned to the sky. Looking down at his chest, he saw that the wound was completely gone. The pain lingered, but he was fully healed. With shocked eyes, he looked at the demon as it let lose with an evil chuckle.

It clicked almost immediately for Xander. The demon was not surprised, and so this must be a known facet of the dimension. Thinking on it, it made a certain sick sense. It wouldn't do for their entertainment to die off too quickly (Xander hoped it wasn't a case of never dying), so he was thoroughly screwed. Ignoring a small voice telling him he should just lay down and not fight it, he raised up his sword again.

The demon seemed to recognize that Xander now understood the rules, and its eyes twinkled with evil delight that he was willing to fight a little longer. As it blurred forward, Xander had time to say one thing.

"I should have let Deadboy close the portal"

Then the pain began again.

And the pain continued.

He didn't know how long it had been. Seconds, minutes, days, years, centuries. If it wasn't for the pain, it would almost be monotonous. He would try to strike at the demon with his sword, the demon would tear into another part of his flesh, the sky-fires would send another tendril of excruciating flame to heal him, rinse and repeat. And so, it went on and on and on. He had lost count of the number of times he had felt chunks of his flesh being torn out, or had seen his intestines fall out of his body only to be sucked back in by the flame, or feel a clawed punch straight through his heart and feel it be repaired, or felt his head pulled from his body and pulled back down and reconnected by the flames. And yet, the sword remained in his hands, never having once drawn a single drop of blood.

With each attack, the small voice in his head got stronger and would goad him to surrender. Every time, his answer of "no" would become less forceful. As his will came close to breaking, it started to say, "Surrender to it, what do you think you're fighting for?".

He would say to the voice, "I am fighting for my life". His will increased shortly, but he couldn't truly believe that he had a hope of a life outside of this. And so, his will to fight decreased a bit more.

Next, he would say to the voice, "I am fighting because I refuse to quit". His will increased shortly, but his stubbornness wasn't infinite and slowly his will to fight began to dip again.

Finally, he said, "I am here for Buffy. Every demon I kill here is a demon that can't hurt Buffy. Every attack I take here is an attack that Buffy doesn't have to take. I fight for Buffy! I fight for Buffy! For Buffy! FOR BUFFY!"

With each excruciating healing flash of fire, he thought "For Buffy!"

With each painful breath full of choking air, he thought "For Buffy!"

With each futile swing of the sword, he thought "For Buffy!"

While the pain continued, the voice quieted for a time. But, after dozens of repeats of the cycle, the voice came back with, "You have no hope, your pitiful sword will never even touch the demon. You say you do this for Buffy, but all you are doing is failing for Buffy. Give up! Give Up! GIVE UP!"

Xander screamed in rage, causing the demon to stop its attack to see if it had finally broken the human. Xander yelled into the air, waving his sword at the clouds of fire.

"I will never quit! I fight For Buffy! If I fall, I fall For Buffy, and I stand back up For Buffy! And this sword… this is not MY sword. This is Buffy's sword! NO! Not just Buffy's sword. It is the sword of Buffy's mother, Joyce, and Joyce's mother's sword, and her mother's sword, and the sword of every Summers woman for all of time. This… this is the Sword of Summers! I fight for Buffy, I take the hits for Buffy, I am Buffy's shield. If you want to get to Buffy, you go through me, but Buffy's mom was always the one you didn't want to mess with, so … I am Xander Harris, shield of Buffy Summers, and I wield Joyce, the Sword of Summers!"

Xander looked back at the demon. "You may tear me apart, demon, but being torn apart is my job as Buffy's shield. But, fear Joyce, fear the Sword of Summers, because you shall suffer when Joyce gets a hold of you! For Buffy! For Buffy! FOR BUFFY!"

Xander then took off running at the demon, not caring about the look of amusement in its eyes. Not thinking that he had no hope. Not able to hear the voice in his head desperately screaming at him to quit. All he thought with every step was "For Buffy".

After crossing half the distance, the demon finally responded and rushed forward towards Xander. Still a blur, but it seemed to stumble slightly as it got near. The stumble was not enough to cause the demon to lose this skirmish. But it was enough for Xander to finally slightly cut the demon's claw as it swiped across his shoulder, its glowing blue blood visible in the shoulder gouge before the flames healed him.

Xander attacked again and again, each time with a yell of "For Buffy!". Over time, he began getting more cuts in (Xander was relieved to note that the flames didn't heal the demon). The demon's hands were dripping with a combination of Xander's blood and its own blood. It seemed to also start to slow down and weaken. He started to earn bigger cuts and slices. Eventually causing the demon to lose claws, then a hand. In the end, Xander stood in tattered clothes barely covering him, coated in a combination of his own blood, the blood of the demon, and the dirt of the hellscape. The demon now seemed to be moving at the same speed as a normal human, with human-level strength.

Had he allowed himself to think of anything besides "For Buffy", or focus on anything other than the fight, he might have noticed some oddities. As it was, it wouldn't be until much later that he noticed these oddities. At the time he didn't notice that the demon had not slowed down, but Xander had sped up. The demon hadn't weakened, but Xander had gotten stronger. He no longer had difficulty breathing the toxic air. Finally, that the sword glimmered with a subtle white light that came from within the core of the sword itself, and that the demon winced whenever the sword came within an inch of its body (hit or no). Xander didn't see any of these oddities.

What Xander saw was an opening. With another cry of "For Buffy!", he stabbed the sword through the demon's belly. He then sliced the sword upwards into the demon's chest. The sword was then pulled out, causing the demon to fall to its knees with a look of shock on its face. The sword was pulled back, and then thrust forward straight into the demons left eye and out the back of its head.

With a whispered "For Buffy", he let the corpse drop to the ground. He stared down at the corpse for a moment, unsure of what to do next. He didn't know how long this battle had taken, but it seemed impossible that it was ever going to end (and especially with him winning). His gaze drifted from the corpse to the sword, his gaze become reverential.

Xander whispered to the sword. "Good job, Joyce. What next?"

A growl from the distance answered him. He looked up from Joyce and to the source of the growling. From up the hill, came half a dozen demons who all made the first demon look like a runt. Behind the demons, he could see the lone castle he had noted on his arrival.

Xander chuckled. "We're off to see the wizard. I believe here needs to have an up-close talk with you. What do you think Joyce? Shall we follow the dead demon road?"

Had he been looking at Joyce, he would have noted that the sword's white glow had strengthened. Instead he stared at the on-coming demons. He bellowed at the demons as he began sprinting towards them, idly noting and dismissing the millions of specks between him and the castle. Those millions of demons could wait their turn, he had these six to work through first.

"Prepare to meet Joyce, The Sword of Summers! For Buffy! FOR BUFFY! FOR BUFFFFFFFFFY!"


	4. Chapter 4 - Popping Acathla's Bubble

As Xander finished recounting the tale of his first fight, he refocused his eyes on the occupants of the room. He saw eyes filled with tears. Willow cuddling tightly with Tara. Giles idly petting Ripper's head while he stared at Xander with a mixture of fascination and horror. Finally, there was Buffy unconsciously squeezing his hand with a strength that would have likely previously crushed every bone in his hand.

"How about a break? I could use some water"

With those words, the silence of the moment was broken, and the room's occupants were startled by the change of tone. For the better part of two hours, Xander had told them the story of that first fight in excruciating detail. Early on, questions were asked, but they were ignored, and it quickly became clear that he was reliving the memories. While none of them had lived through such extremes, they had still lived through the stuff of nightmares and each of them had found themselves in similar situations where they relived memories as they retold them. As painful as it was to hear, they all fell silent and let him say what he needed. As such, it was jarring to hear the sudden switch in tone.

Giles answered first. "Of course, my boy. I think we could all do with a short hiatus from the story."

As everyone got up, Buffy finally noticed that she was holding Xander's hand with a grip that could warp steel. She quickly let go and looked into Xander's eyes as she said "Sorry".

"No prob, Buff. I am stronger than I look nowadays"

After a pause, she lowered her eyes. "I'm not just sorry about the hand, Xander. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. If I had just…"

"Hey", Xander interrupted. With a gentle smile, he touched her chin to get her to look into his eyes. "There are a lot of things that all of us could have done differently. Trust me, I have had a lot of time to dwell, and I have thought of hundreds of things we could have done differently. I then thought of a hundred ways each of those different approaches could have made everything worse. The main thing I learned in that first fight was that I needed something to fight for that spoke to my heart, not just my brain. It took me a long time to accept that your love for Angel was what kept you alive, it gave you the purpose to keep on fighting the nightmares of this town. If you gave up on him too soon, then you would have given up that which kept you alive. I may have hated him, but I loved you much more than I hated him. You don't need to be sorry for having a heart, and you don't need to be sorry for what happened to me. Learn from your mistakes, but only be sorry for the harm you mean to cause. This is the Hellmouth, Buff, things going wrong and people being harmed is the norm. As far as I am concerned… we're good."

Buffy's reply was a heartfelt hug.

* * *

As everyone filtered back into the room and retook their seats, Xander took a sip of his water before speaking.

"Before I get back into the story, any questions?"

Dawn immediately spoke up. "You talked about how you got stronger and faster as the fight went on. How did that work?"

Before he could answer, Buffy muttered loud enough for everyone to hear. "Essence of the Demon".

As Giles nodded silently, Xander looked at her with a raised eyebrow. She continued speaking. "During the last year of high school, I killed a mouthless demon and got splashed with its blood. It was a mind reader, and its blood made me all mind read-y. I almost went crazy before I was cured. You said the demon's blood mixed with yours, so I am figuring you got its strength and speed."

"Quite", Giles agreed. "Though that would normally result in a change to your outward appearance. Can you explain that lack of any apparent physical transformation, excluding your apparent age being somewhere in your early to mid-20s?"

Xander smiled. "Ah, I've missed your tweed talk G-Man. I haven't heard a 'quite' said like that in… a long time. As it was explained to me later, you're dead on with the whole mixing of demon blood with mine. The best guess for my looks is that I was in a Hell Dimension, and not a Hell-like Dimension. Hell-like Dimensions are basically just extremely crappy dimensions, but they are real worlds with set rules that can't change. Hell Dimensions exist as extensions of the Hell God's will. In a Hell-like Dimension, the physical laws are the primary laws. In a Hell Dimension, the spiritual laws are the primary laws and the physical laws are just suggestions. I didn't change because… well because it was probably Acathla's will that its human victims would be tormented for eternity and so humans needed to stay human. I grew a bit older because I started to think of myself as an adult and my subconscious applied the will need to change me to an older version of my body."

Giles looked intrigued. "Fascinating. So, then the 'sky-fire' was…".

"Acathla's will violently forcing my body to obey it's desires"

"Dear Lord"

As Giles took off his glasses to wipe them clean, Tara spoke up. "Why did the sword glow?"

Xander shrugged. "That I don't know. I just figured that Joyce didn't like the demons, because the brighter she glowed, the more she brought the pain. I was told that it felt almost holy, like a cross, but… different. My sources weren't really what you would consider experts in, well in anything holy".

Giles put on his glasses and spoke up. "I suspect I can guess at the answer. A cross works against vampires and lesser demons because it represents the faith of billions. That much positive spiritual energy creates a sort of… positive background energy that powers physical symbols of that faith. The way you described it, you sounded very much like a zealot declaring their dedication to their god. You said you were Buffy's shield, and the sword was the sword of the entire bloodline of Buffy. In essence, you created a religion, with you as an ardent defender of the faith and the sword as the physical embodiment of your god's wrath. It is just a guess, but I believe being in a dimension where the metaphysical laws override the physical laws, it allowed the religion to become real and your sword to become a holy weapon. The stronger your faith and dedication, the holier your sword would become. If that is what happened, it would be… most extraordinary."

As all eyes looked to Xander for a response, he shrugged. "I prefer to just think that Joyce is that kick-ass".

As various smiles and groans came from the assembled people, Xander gently took Buffy's hand in his own. "I guess we should get back into the story."

* * *

It was impossible to say how long it had been since Xander had started his quest to reach the castle on the peak of the hellscape that made up Acathla's Dimension. After the first kill, so long ago, the battles had quickly become almost boring in their repetition. Although it never quite became dull, it is hard to fully mentally disengage while being eviscerated, decapitated, flayed, and mortally wounded in a hundred different ways.

Still, with every demon killed, he became a better fighter. Each fight painfully honed his tactical instincts. Each new demon type seemed to improve him in some way (painfully, of course). If his friends saw him now, body soaked in a multi-hued coating of blood, they would have been forgiven to think he was a demon himself. Not a single square centimeter of his body was clean of dirt and gore, while Joyce contained not a speck of dirt upon her gleaming and glowing surface. Nor did a single thought penetrate his brain besides "FOR BUFFY!". He killed on instinct and moved forward with devotion. It would be a while before he would every truly reflect on his time in this dimension.

After the first kill, he would have loved to have been able to say that he had wiped the floor with the next half dozen demons. But that would be an utter lie. Whereas the first demon played with Xander, the next six fought as a pack with the goal to quickly incapacitate before the torture began. Even with his extra strength and speed, they would have succeeded if they had not been slightly impaired by the proximity to Joyce's glow. Still, it took too long before Xander's battle instincts matured to the point of handling multiple enemies acting as a pack. In the meantime, he suffered through limbs torn from their sockets and violently pulled back with the Hell-Fire that he never became used to. Eyes were shredded, scalps were sliced off, and a thousand more tortures before he began to successfully get his hits in and started killing the pack demon by demon. With each kill, his strength, speed, senses, and reflexes came up to match the best of the demons he fought. Eventually the six were defeated. Without pausing to admire his achievement, without pausing to reflect, without any other thought than "FOR BUFFY!" he moved forward.

The groups increased in size, the demons changed, but the destination remained the same. His fighting and body improved. The pain never became less in severity. Step by excruciating step, he made it closer to the castle.

Had he reflected, he would have noted that he was taking on the best attributes of the demons he killed.

The 20-foot-tall hell cat may have played with his intestines like a piece of grotesque yarn, but he eventually gained its superior senses that made the world just as clear when his eyes were closed.

The swarm of flesh-eating slugs may have dug into his body and ate him from the inside and forced him to slice his body open with Joyce, but he eventually gained their rapid healing.

Had he reflected he would have realized just how much easier the fights were becoming and how much he was changing. However, had he reflected, the horrors of this existence may have destroyed his will to continue the fight.

In the end, after a time that could have been days or millennia, he stood at the doors to the castle. Behind him lay a straight line of carnage, where untold numbers of demons formed a macabre road of corpses leading back to the point he first arrived in this dimension.

With a powerful kick, he shattered the castle doors and walked in to see a demon he had last seen as a stone statue in a Sunnydale mansion.

"FOR BUFFY!"

He lifted a blinding Joyce above his head.

"FOR BUFFY!"

His gait quickened.

"FOR BUFFY!"

He began to sprint at the demon.

"FOR BUFFFFFFFY!"

The fight with Acathla had begun.

* * *

The demons of Acathla's dimension knew about the carnage that had led to the castle of their god. Some of the clans had decided to hold back from attacking the one known as "Forbuffy" and risking the bite of the Sword of Summers. Some of the clans had taken on the challenge with glee. Of those two groups, only the clans that had held back were alive to observe the attack upon the castle.

It had always been known that their god's castle was unassailable. The walls and doors were merely an extension of their god's will and none of them would ever be able to enter without invitation, and never even dent any part of the structure. It was therefore a shock when the crash of the doors breaking reverberated throughout the dimension. As one, every demon looked at the castle that was the focal point of the dimension. Every demon watched as the foundations of the castle shuddered. As their god, Acathla, battled the human, Forbuffy, they awaited the eventual end of the sounds of battle. As the sounds continued past any sense of reasonableness, they felt the ground under them begin to tremble and then violently shake. Forbuffy and the Sword of Summers had initially inspired a sense of caution in the demonic population. But now, the demonic hordes began to feel the seeds of an emotion that no demon of Acathla had ever felt before… fear.

* * *

When Xander had begun his dash at Acathla, the hell god had appeared to be 6 feet tall and 20 feet away. The closer Xander got, the distance appeared to remain 20 feet while the height just kept increasing. By the time he reached the hell god, Acathla could now easily overshadow the tallest skyscraper.

Before his journey to hell, Xander would have likely chosen that moment to run away. At the very least he would have made a Honey, I Shrunk the Kids quip. Instead he screamed "ACATHLA! MEET THE SWORD OF SUMMERS! MEET JOYCE! FOR BUFFY! FOR BUFFY! FOR BUUUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFFFFY!". With that he leapt as high as he could and landed on top of Acathla's smallest toe.

A mighty thrust later, and Joyce managed to slightly puncture the hell god's flesh. It was the equivalent of a flee bite, but first blood was still drawn. For the first time in eons, Acathla bled. Acathla roared in rage and bent down to squash the impudent human that dared to fight a god.

Xander saw the massive hand and attached claws approaching him rapidly, and just barely avoided the titanic swat. Even then, he managed to nick the tip of one finger with Joyce, while the barest sliver of claw hit his arm and opened a long gash. A drop of silver glowing blood fell into his wound.

It would be later that Xander would have realized that at that point, no hell-fire arrived to heal him. Luckily his healing had been increased by previous demon kills, so the gash quickly closed without a scar. Despite being healed, he felt like his body was trying to swell like a balloon and was only being held together by his shear stupid determination and focus.

"FOR BUFFY!"

He leapt for the ankle and stabbed slightly deeper. Slicing his hand on the rough skin, moving his injured hand to hold onto the newly stabbed hole. Idly noting the hell god's ankle healing rapidly, while he clambered up the rough skin of the legs. The internal swelling sensation increased ten-fold, while he leapt to the left leg to avoid another swat of the deadly hands of the hell god.

"FOR BUFFY!"

And so it went. As the internal swelling sensation decreased, Xander would find his strength and speed increasing. Joyce would glow brighter, and occasionally the white light would take on a greenish hue for a short time. Another minor stab later where blood mixed, and the swelling would return even stronger. Every wound on Acathla healing rapidly, while Xander's own healing rate increased. As always, the sounds were a combination of screams of pain, roars of rage, and the ever present…

"FOR BUFFY!"

Eventually, Xander made his way to the top of Acathla's head. Joyce's glow was a swirling mass of green and white, like a peppermint stick made of pure fiery plasma. The battle had been long and brutal, Xander still felt like his body was going to pop like an overfilled water balloon, and the only way to lessen the pressure was to focus all his energy into the Sword of Summers, which pulsed even brighter with boiling energies.

Xander raised the sword and pulled in as much energy from Joyce as he could. He felt his very soul preparing to rip away at the seams. He then plunged Joyce into the skull of the hell god, feeling as it easily sliced through flesh and bone. Then, with one long and mighty scream of "FOR BUUUUUFFFFFFFFFFY!" he forced all his energy to flow into the Sword of Summers.

Acathla screamed.

To be clear, Acathla had screamed many times during this battle. In annoyance. In rage. In frustration. In anger. In exhaustion. There had been many screams. This was the first time in the history of Acathla's existence that it had ever screamed in agony.

Acathla's body began to bubble out in places. The bubbles began to crack, and then would pop with white and green energy pouring out of the wound. The energy would arc back up into Xander's body and would in turn be poured back into Joyce. As these wounds would start to heal (much more slowly than normal), the number of popping bubbles in the hell god's body would double. As the bubbles increased in number at an exponential rate, the castle began to dissolve around them.

Demons from across the dimension began to be sucked towards the castle, as did the very land and sky itself. Everything that entered the energy field was completely dissolved. As they dissolved, the field increased in size and the rate of bubble creation increased. Slowly the borders of the dimension folded in until all that remained was Acathla, Xander, and Joyce.

With a final scream of terror and pain from the hell god, Acathla's entire body inflated and exploded with a release of an unimaginable amount of power.

With Acathla dead, the energy sought out the only remaining being in the dimension. The energy sought out Xander, who had been flung away from the explosion into the void of the rapidly dying dimension.

Xander screamed in agony as his soul began to rip apart from the influx of energy. He was almost overwhelmed when he was just a conduit of the energy, but he couldn't act as a storage unit. It was too much. For the first time since his first fight, he allowed himself one new thought. "I want to go home".

With that thought, he focused all his energy into a dimming Joyce. As he started to feel his consciousness fade, he saw that he was successfully acting as a conduit again. The energy poured through Joyce into a mass of chaotic green energy in the void. The mass of energy slowly became less chaotic and began to swirl into the shape of the portal that first brought him to Acathla's Dimension.

A second later, Xander passed through the portal, and the void was empty.

With no one left in the void, the remaining energy dissipated quickly. With that, a dimension that had existed for eons, a dimension that had been feared by the dimensions of hell and heaven alike, blinked out of existence.

In another dimension, a swirling portal appeared and Xander Harris fell out of it onto a hard ground. Xander, barely holding onto consciousness, looked around warily and groaned. He managed to say one thing before passing out.

"This isn't home"


	5. Chapter 5 - You Killed Kenny

"What!? Where were you?" Dawn blurted out as Xander finished telling his story.

"He killed a Hell God, and that's what you want to know?" Giles asked with a great deal of incredulity. He would have likely raised his voice as well, but Ripper was snoozing on his lap.

"Well… OK, you have a point. But… I still want to know" Dawn's face showing a perfect mixture of embarrassment and the sort of petulance that only a teenager can pull off convincingly.

Xander smiled at Dawn. "I never got the name of the place, it was just…"

Xander looked over at Buffy and Willow, noting their eyes were both brimming with unshed tears.

Xander continued speaking "… something that can wait until tomorrow. I could do with some dinner and then maybe stretch my legs. What do you say Buff, want some company for tonight's patrol?"

Buffy gave a weak and watery smile. "That sounds good Xan… that…".

As Buffy trailed off, clearly unable to speak without crying, Xander just squeezed her hand gently before speaking to the group. "So, what are we having?"

* * *

After a dinner where everyone was quietly digesting what they heard of Xander's story (along with unpleasantly digesting what Giles had made for dinner), interspersed with occasional forced jokes, they prepared for patrol. Dawn stayed at home with Willow and Tara. Buffy, Xander, and Ripper escorted Giles to his apartment, where Giles said he wanted to research something.

Then, it was just Buffy and Xander followed by a happy dragon disguised as a wiener dog. The pair walked silently to the nearest graveyard that had a fresh grave, Buffy noticeably hugging herself and avoiding holding Xander's hand. When they reached the fresh grave, Buffy leaned against a nearby headstone, while Xander leaned on a headstone on the opposite side of the grave. Ripper simply sat at the base of the grave, wagging his tail.

Breaking the silence, Buffy spoke softly with her eyes downcast. "I didn't deserve it".

"What didn't you deserve?"

Buffy looked at him, speaking with more passion. "Everything! You threw yourself into hell for me. You killed a Hell God for me. I don't deserve that sort of… lo… devotion. I let Angelus live, even after I knew he was a danger. I ignored your pleas to stake him. Hell, I never even thanked you for saving my life with what happened with the Master. I just teased you and used you to make Angel jealous. And…"

"Buffy! Stop!"

Buffy hadn't seen Xander get up nor more the 6 feet distance, and yet she was now swept up in a tight hug. As she calmed down, Xander kept hugging her with one arm, as his other arm moved up, so he could stroke her hair gently. He whispered into her ear.

"You've been thinking on that a lot, huh? What you did wrong. What you could have done different. How I shouldn't have jumped into that portal for you."

Xander just felt a nod against his body.

"Well, I've had a lot more time to think on all of that. I have asked myself many more questions and have been hundreds of times harsher with myself. What did I do wrong? What could I have done different? Should I have jumped into that portal? I have come up with a lot of wrong things I have done and even more changes I should have made, and we could probably exchange notes for the rest of the year. We could share stupid decisions we made, we could argue about who made the worst choice, but who knows what would have gone differently. We are on a Hellmouth, and that means that if the best case scenario for us is probably going to be a worse case scenario for normal people. Yes, you were crappy to me on occasion, but I sure shoveled more than a fair share of crap right back at you. We were young and in constant threat of death. Frankly, I am surprised we made so few stupid mistakes. Yeah, you dated a vampire, but then I dated a Cordelia."

Buffy smiled lightly, as Xander continued.

"In the end, the most important question is if I would still jump into that portal for you. The answer is an overwhelming 'hell yeah'. And the reason is simple."

"What is it?"

"Your eyes"

"My eyes?"

"I saw your eyes that night. I saw the joy at seeing the miracle of having Angel returned to you, the love, the relief. For the first time since your birthday, I saw hope. And then, I saw the horror and realization of what you needed to do. I saw the fleeting desire to run, and then I saw your heart breaking as you resolved to save us all. You were ready to sacrifice your heart… your dreams… the part of you that still was able to feel hope. You knew what you were giving up, and you still were ready to do it. Yeah, you had a moment of doubt, but it lasted less time than it takes most people to decide what to order off a fast food menu. You don't think you deserved my devotion? I don't see how I could possibly have not offered it to you."

Xander stepped back to look at Buffy face to face. He could see the smile spreading across her face.

"As for that other thing you think you didn't deserve…"

Buffy frowned slightly. "Xander…"

"I know, Buff…"

Buffy looked over Xander's shoulder at the slightly shifting dirt of the grave. "No! Xander…"

From the grave, burst a freshly risen vampire ready to feast the living. It looked down at a pathetic growl coming from an adorable wiener dog. Before it could say whatever, it would pass as wit, the dog barked out a ball of flame that engulfed the vampire and immediately turned it to ash.

Xander smiled at a flabbergasted Buffy. "I told you. I know!"

Xander then gave Buffy a quick peck on the forehead, and then started to walk off. "Come on, let's hit a few more graves. Maybe hit a couple of nests if you're looking to work off some energy. Unless you want to leave it up to the puppy."

Buffy blinked and then stared down at the dog, realizing she had forgotten that the thing was a dragon in disguise. Looking in the dog's eyes, she could swear that thing looked like it was smugly taunting her. Then she realized that probably was exactly what it was doing.

"In your dreams, Hot Dog. Wait up, Xan! There's a big nest over in the warehouse district that we've been ignoring because of Glory. I'm not going to be shown up by Fido there."

As Buffy took off in a jog, followed by a grinning Xander and tongue-lolling Ripper, she found herself sliding back into the comfortable banter she had enjoyed with Xander way back before the portal. For the first time in weeks, she found herself acting like… herself.

* * *

After working off a lot of pent-up energy on clearing two nests and several wandering vamps, the trio made it back to Buffy's house. Upon the firm insistence of a sleepy Dawn, Xander found himself lying in Buffy's bed again with the Summers sisters cuddled into him (though with Buffy no longer holding on to him for dear life).

In the morning, the sisters let Willow get some one-on-one Xander cuddles. Giles arrived with donuts, and after a "nutritious" breakfast, they arranged themselves around the living room as they had the day before (including Ripper jumping onto the lap of a resigned Giles).

Xander looked around and was happy to see that a lot of the tensions of the previous day seemed to have eased. Buffy was holding his hand again, but it was now a gentle gesture as opposed to the almost desperate clinging from before. He then cleared his throat and began to speak.

* * *

Xander woke up with a start. The last thing he remembered seeing was a dark and dreary landscape, a desert made of black sand with one large factory standing by itself. The factory was spewing a thick black smoke into a sky choked with even more black smoke.

Clearly, he had been moved. For he was now in what was clearly a prison cell, laying on top of a comfortable bed (in retrospect, it would be deemed quite uncomfortable for a bed, but still infinitely better than the constant torture he had previously experienced).

"You're awake!"

Xander looked to the source of the voice, and saw a young man wearing a non-descript bland outfit. He had a dirty face, and a haggard look, but he also had the look of someone who had a well of optimism that could probably get quite annoying in an everyday setting. In short, it was like looking at a more upbeat and idealized version of Xander Harris. Obviously Xander had gone insane and started to hallucinate. Honestly, it was about damned time.

Xander looked at his imaginary counterpart and decided it would be rude to ignore his own subconscious.

"It would seem like it. What should I call you, and where am I?"

The young man smiled, then frowned, then looked around for eavesdroppers. "I'm not supposed to use my name. I'm supposed to say that I'm no one. But if you keep it quiet… I'm Rickie. And you're… I'm sorry man, but you're… in hell."

Xander snorted in amusement, looking back down at his bed and then back at Rickie, followed by Rickie's arm. "Sure, Hell is well known for its comfy beds. And, who is Lily?"

Rickie followed Xander's gaze, looking down at his arm. There was a tattoo that was half a heart with the name "Lily" written it. It was clearly one half of a matching pair. "She's my girl. God, it's been days since I got pushed down here. She must be going crazy with worry. The last time I saw her was…"

"The last time you saw her was the very last time you were ever going to see her… well, except maybe when you are too old to be recognized." A new voice came from outside of the cell's bars. Xander looked up to see a man/demon wearing a black suit and sporting a face that looked like it had been burned, and then a couple of lines of skin fell off to expose the muscle. Xander found himself thinking of a discount Freddy Krueger. After being in the company of eldritch abominations for so long, this "demon" looked down right cuddly.

"Ken" gasped Rickie. Xander smirked. Of course, his subconscious would provide a demon with the name of 'Ken'. While he didn't have much experience with waking delusions, this one seemed to be rather tame.

Ken spoke, attempting to adopt an air of menace. "Rickie, Rickie, Rickie. What am I going to do with you? You know that you no longer get to have a name here. You are no one. No one loves you. No one wants you. No one will ever wonder what happened to you. Accept it! And maybe, if you're a good little slave, I will give Lily your cell when I get her down here and you are dead."

Ken ignored the outraged gasp from Rickie and turned his attention to Xander. "As for you. I have to say, before we cleaned all that grime off you, I didn't even know you were a human. Normally we bring our humans in through the Los Angeles portal, so it was a surprise to find a human so eager to join the workforce that they create their own portal. Still, waste not want not."

Xander looked down, and noted he was clean for the first time since entering Hell. He was also wearing the same non-descript bland clothes that Rickie was wearing. Looking back up, he saw Ken holding Joyce.

"Of course, while I appreciate the spirit of volunteerism you expressed, I sadly cannot let you hold to this sword. You understand of course."

Xander's amused expression turned icy. When he spoke, all the joy in his voice had disappeared. "I don't care if you are just a delusion, no one holds The Sword of Summers but me. I don't care if we are on Earth, in Hell, or in my brain, hand her over! Right… now!"

Ken smirked. "I can tell you are going to be fun to break. Maybe I'll start with breaking your fingers. As for your little summer sword, I think I'll keep it for my… urk!"

Xander rushed at Ken as fast as he could, shot his arm though the gap between the bars, grabbed Ken by the front of his suit and effortlessly lifted him off the ground.

"Listen, you irritating little delusion of a demon, I'll make this perfectly clear so that my conscious mind, subconscious mind, and all of creations knows that I am completely serious. Hand… me… Joyce… NOW!"

As Xander said "NOW", he pulled Ken towards himself as if to slam the demon into the bars. Unfortunately, he slightly miscalculated his own strength. Ken hit the bars, but then continued moving forward. Ken's body was not really meant to be pulled though a six-inch wide gap. In the end, Ken came to a stop on the other side of the bars, a much more truncated version of himself. A wave of Ken's internals followed shortly, ensuring Xander's period of cleanliness was short lived. Ken, of course, was a bit too dead to really complain about the mess.

As he felt the familiar sensation of warm demon blood dripping down his body, Xander had a mad thought. Was this not a delusion?

"Heeeeeeeyyyy… Rickie?"

A very shocked Rickie answered, while his eyes remained transfixed on the remains of his kidnapper. "Yeah?"

"On the… off chance that you're not a delusion, it's probably for the best that we avoid shaking hands, or bumping fists, or high fiving, really any touching at all, until I figure out how to control my strength."

Rickie nodded his head slowly, but very emphatically in agreement.

"Well, delusions or not, I'm sure I don't like the idea of humans used as slaves. I do, however, like the idea of that portal home. Come on, let's see if we can't address both of those ideas."

With that, Xander moved forward and forced the cell door open, ripping through the deadbolts as if they were made from wet toilet paper. He then picked up Joyce and stalked down the hall. Rickie shook his head in disbelief and followed at a quick jog.

Rickie directed Xander to the remaining cells and then through the factory. Wherever they went, demons died, and slaves quickly joined the crowd of the freed. After completing the bloody tour of the building, they made their way to the portal. It looked like a pool of water shimmering 6 feet in the air, attached magically to the ceiling. The freed humans helped each other up through the portal, while Xander avoided touching any of the people (for fear his lack of strength control would transform them into smears on the ceiling). Though Xander did not have any compunction about touching the two demons that dropped down through the portal in an attempt stop the escape, much to the detriment of the continued life signs of the demons.

Halfway through the escape, Xander heard a loud explosion and heard the stomping of thousands of feet running through the factory. Apparently, the demons' back-up had arrived.

As the humans kept up their escape attempt, a half dozen demons rushed through the door. Xander sped up, and attacked the demons, killing them with ruthless efficiency. Looking back at the humans struggling to reach the portal in the ceiling, he shrugged and dragged the bodies back to the portal and began to stack them into the beginnings of a macabre staircase. Then another dozen demons burst into the room.

Xander increased his speed once again, until he was a blur to everyone watching. He killed the next group of demons, and then positioned their bodies to continue building the staircase. The process repeated, with Xander gaining speed with each iteration. Soon, the room contained only Xander, Ricky, and a staircase composed of over a hundred demon carcasses. Some more demons stood hesitantly in the doorway, cowed by Xander's glare.

With the pause in fighting and escaping, he realized he could hear the heartbeats of every human and demon in the room. He had heard these sounds before, but the moment of calm allowed him to understand what exactly the racing pumping sounds were. Xander turned to Ricky, while keeping an ear on the demons. He ignored the demons taking advantage of his apparent inattention, by sneaking in to surround him. He was very confident he could get through the portal before they would have a chance to even get remotely close, or kill them all if necessary.

Xander smiled at Rickie. "Well, this has been fun, in a 'only they are getting hurt' sort of way. If, on an off chance, you aren't a delusion then I hope you find Lily. Say 'hi' for me."

"I keep telling you, man, I'm real. And, when we get back to L.A., you can say hi yourself. You can even stay with us… I mean, when we find a place to stay ourselves."

"Sounds good. Now, get going!"

Rickie ran up the surprisingly well-built staircase of demon corpses, and through the portal.

Xander turned to the surrounding horde of demons and smiled viciously. "Well, boys, it's been a hoot. But I think it is time I made my way out of here, just in case this isn't a delusion and that really is a portal home."

He then heard a crunch. Looking to his left, he saw a demon standing over a destroyed urn in the middle of a ritual circle. Looking back to the portal, he saw it shudder and then the watery surface made a sound of broken glass and the watery portal surface fell from the ceiling and splashed all over the floor.

Seeing his way home disappear, Xander turned back to the demon who stranded him here. The demon looked triumphant and smug. He then approached the demon. What happened next would be spoken of in hushed tones amongst the dimension's population for millennia to come.

Once Xander finished working out his frustrations, he looked up to see all the demons in the room standing completely frozen. As he stood, only their eyes followed his movements. He stalked over to one of the demons, Joyce pulsing with green energy in rhythm with his heart.

In a calm voice, dripping with the promise of overwhelming violence, he spoke. "Where… is… your… leader?"

The demon glanced down as the green energy of the sword burst into green flames on the last word. With an effort greater than he had ever made, he barely whispered an answer. "Outside. Front doors."

Xander stared into the demon's wide and terrified eyes for a full minute, Joyce's green flames inched towards the demon's stomach. The demon awaited his slaughter, certain none of his brothers would help him. Then, without warning, he turned around and marched away from the demon (which fainted) and through the factory, walking with a slow and methodical gait. The halls were full of demons, all of whom fled to get out of his way. The slower (or stupider) demons found themselves missing any part of their bodies that happened to block the path of the incensed man and his sword of hungry green flame (with one brave idiot split lengthwise in half and set ablaze).

As he stepped out the door, he observed the barren desert of black sand was now packed with more of the demons (Xander decided to think of them as Krueger demons). Thousands upon thousands stood in front of him. In front of the pack, stood a different type of demon. Its body was packed with muscles with skin that was a poisonous green, it stood at 10 feet tall, with nasty curling horns jutting from its forehead. In its hand was held an axe that exuded waves of malice. The demon had a wicked smile full of razor-sharp teeth.

Xander took in the demon's posture. It was ready for a fight. As he neared the apparent leader of this dimension, he noted that the demon's eyes widened in possibly shock. It was then quite a surprise when the demon went down on one knee, lowering its head in a sign of supplication.

"Greetings, oh esteemed one."

And that is how Xander met a Demon Lord named Chuck.


	6. Chapter 6 - Eh, What's Up Chuck?

"Chuck?" asked Dawn.

"The Summer Sword!?" yelled Giles.

"Are you a god now?" asked Willow.

"His name was seriously Chuck?" asked Tara.

Everyone looked over at Tara with varying degrees of incredulity (though Dawn's face spoke of vindication). Tara shifted uncomfortably under their gaze. "Well, I thought it was weird."

Willow, keeping in mind her girlfriend's recent recovery, spoke gently with a voice full of love. "You're right, sweetie, it is a weird name for a Demon Lord. It's just… I figured you might be interested in the Demon Lord bowing to Xander instead, which didn't seem like a Demon Lordy thing to do, what with the muscles, and axe, and army, and… we can get to that later. So, I change my question to match with Tara! Chuck?"

As Tara gave Willow a peck on the lips, before cuddling closer into her lover, Xander chuckled. "Not the longest Willow babble I've ever heard, but still wonderful to hear." His smile widened as Willow stuck her tongue out at him. "But, to answer to your question, his name wasn't really Chuck. It's just that when he pronounced his name it sounded like a room of people throwing up. Hence, Chuck."

Buffy's brow crinkled, and then she rolled her eyes. "Did you call him Chuck just so you could say 'What's up Chuck?'"

"… no?" As Xander looked around the room, he sighed. "Not buying that, huh? OK, but in my defense… I still find it funny."

Giles lips quirked into a small smile which he quickly fought down. "Yes, while I am sure we are pleased that the quality of your jokes was not affected by your travails, can we perhaps move onto some other topic?"

"Shoot, G-Man!"

"Xander, please do not call me that infernal name. Now, did you say that your sword was called the Summer Sword?"

Xander shrugged. "Well, I called her the Sword of Summers, but yeah. Ken was hardly the last demon I ran into who got the name mixed up. Why did that get you so worked up?"

Giles pulled out an ancient book, that he had brought from his home, opening to a bookmarked page. "Because your sword is a legend. When we were searching for ways to fight Glory, I researched various possible weapons that might be effective. Most of the weapons belonged to other gods, for instance a troll god known to have once been a human, but we had no chance of getting the weapons, so the list wasn't very helpful. One outlier, one weapon not already wielded by a god, was the Summer Sword, the Demon's Bane. It was said to be wielded by a demon warrior know as the God Killer, also known as The Fo'rb U'ffee. The main distinguishing feature was that it glowed with a light sometimes described as pure white, other times as pure green, and others as a swirl or mixture of the two colors. Of course, the location of the sword and the warrior was lost, so I didn't bother looking too much deeper into the legend. Based on what you have said, and what I have said, that makes me believe your sword is the sword spoken of in legends."

Xander smiled, disengaged his hand from Buffy's and pulled out his sword. "You hear that, Joyce? You're famous!" A look of concentration crossed his face, and the sword pulsed green once, white once, and then the green and white light began to swirl around the sword like an extremely dangerous spearmint candy cane. After a minute, the lights disappeared, and Xander sheathed his sword.

Giles, went to clean his glasses, and accidentally used the ear of a now awake Ripper. The dog/dragon didn't seem to mind, as Giles put on his glasses and absentmindedly scratched behind the ears of the excitable demon dog. "Yes, that seems to match the records. So, why is the legend centuries old when you only disappeared a few years ago. Also, while God Killer is straightforward, do you have an explanation for the odd name of The Fo'rb U'ffee?"

Xander looked thoughtful for a moment, and then grinned. "Hey, Dawn?"

"Yes, Xander?"

"Can you say 'Fo'rb U'ffee' 5 times fast?"

Not sure what he was getting at (though noticing Tara starting to smile), Dawn took to the task with great gusto. "Fo'rb U'ffee, Forb uhffee, For buhfee, For bufee…" Before completing the final repetition, Dawn laughed and looked over at Xander. She took a deep breath, which Xander copied, and then a grinning Tara, Willow, and Buffy took a deep breath as well. On Dawn's cue, the five young people all shouted at Giles, "FOR BUFFY!"

Before they could start laughing, they all found themselves yelping in shocked pain and covering their eyes as the room filled with a blinding white light emanating from Xander's sheathed sword.

"No, Joyce, calm down. False alarm"

With that, the light quickly dimmed and blinked off.

"Sorry… reflex"

There was a moment of silence. Then Tara let out a small titter. Followed by Dawn with a giggle. And the dam broke, where everyone except Giles found themselves letting a nice long laugh. Giles had a smile on his face, and the occasional chuckle spoke to his failing struggle to remain the 'adult' in the room.

Once the laughter died down, Giles spoke again. "Yes, well I am certain that no one will ever believe that translation of the name. All that is left is the question, how do you explain the legends being centuries old?"

Xander leaned back, and took a hold of Buffy's hand again, which she accepted happily. "Well, Chuck kind of answered that question in our first conversation. The short answer is… unstable portals are dangerous."

* * *

"Greetings, oh esteemed one."

Xander stared down at the muscular green demon, as it kneeled in supplication. Joyce burned with her unholy green flame, almost begging to impart more violence. The Xander who fought Acathla would have diced this demon before unthinkingly wading into the sea of Kreuger Demons. The Xander who woke in a bed earlier in the day would have laughed and walked away assured in his insanity. The Xander of the current moment was torn between his rage of possibly losing his route home, and the desire to laugh at the insanity of the moment. Taking a moment to think, he looked out at the army of demons.

Had the demons been focused on his face, they might have recognized the confusion flitting across his face. However, their attention was more drawn towards the sword of green flames, pulsing with a nearly overwhelming sense of power. When one of them noticed the man looking at the army, she immediately kneeled which started a domino effect.

As Xander watched tens of thousands of demons kneel before him, he couldn't hold back a mirthless chuckle. With that, he looked down at the large green demon.

"Can you reopen the portal to Earth?"

With a slight sound of nervousness, the demon responded. "I can have my people teach you about portals, Esteemed One".

Xander sighed. "That's your way of saying, 'No, but please don't kill me' isn't it?"

The demon's silence spoke volumes.

Xander ran his hand down his face, exhaled a deep breath, and looked down at Joyce. The sword extinguished itself and stopped pulsing its green light.

"Well, I guess I can always take up slaughtering everyone if you decide to attack." He then yelled back towards the building. "I'm heading back to my bed. I'm going to count to ten before walking back in. Anyone left in that building that gets in my way will greatly irritate me."

The slow trickle of demons that had been exiting the building over the preceding minutes became a mad torrent of demons exiting out every door and window possible. Xander ignored the commotion while he slowly counted to ten.

After reaching ten he looked down at the still kneeling green demon. "Let's talk. Leave the army." With that he turned around and walked towards the building, not bothering to wait for a response from the demon. That's not to say he wasn't extremely aware of the demon standing and quickly following him. He was somewhat hoping that someone would attack him while his back was turned, so he could do the more straightforward action of wading into a bloodbath. He wasn't sure if he was happy or sad that everyone refrained from instigating a fight.

They walked the halls in silence for several minutes, the demon walking to the side and slightly behind. Xander stopped suddenly, looked around the hall, and then spoke to the demon. "OK. I'm lost. Where the hell are the cells?"

The demon blinked. "I… don't know, God Killer. This was a pretty minor factory and so I never felt a need to visit."

Xander stared back at the demon with a look of pure disbelief. "But… you had a portal to Earth here. How can this just be a minor factory? Why would a minor factory have a portal to Earth?"

The demon shifted uncomfortably, its eyes flicking down to the still unsheathed sword. It may not be blazing with green flames, but that did not prevent it or its wielder from eminently deadly. "I didn't know about the portal until your attack today. I don't deal with the annoying… that is, I tend to leave the paperwork to my assistants." That admission was spoken with an odd mixture of embarrassment and terror.

Xander paused, taking in the confession, and then leaned against the wall before letting out a wild bark of laughter which turned into a full-blown laughing fit. He sunk into a sitting position, leaning against the wall as he let the laughter. Looking up at the confused demon staring down at him, he laughed even harder and indicated for the demon to sit on the floor across the hall from him. The demon obliged, eyes initially focused on the sword. Eventually the demon started chuckling along to the Xander's laughter.

Once his laughter came to an end, a visibly more relaxed Xander and demon now sat across from each other.

"Of course, a hell dimension has bureaucracy. Earth probably got it from some random demon. And if I ever see Angelus again, I am so taunting him. He goes to extremes to open a portal to hell, and you have it happen as a random line item in a boring report about plant productivity or something like that, which you never even read. And is the portal used for conquering the Earth or something? No, it's used for free factory workers making… what do you even make here?"

The demon paused before responding. "I believe my assistant told me it was… forks"

Xander stared at the demon with a great deal of confusion. "They took humans as slaves so that they could help make forks?"

The demon looked embarrassed again. "Perhaps spoons."

Xander shook his head and then lightly banged his head back into the wall (which caused then entire wall to crack in a spiderweb in a radius of nine feet around the point of impact). "So, they used the portal to help produce forks… or spoons. Tell me, if you had known about the portal, what would you have done?"

The demon shrugged. "I don't know, God Killer. My first instinct would have been to send an army through to conquer the planet, and my second instinct would have been to destroy the portal to prevent being invaded by one of the greater hell dimensions… Thinking on it, I would have destroyed it. Having a stable portal to Earth is just begging for an invasion."

Xander's brow furrowed in confusion. "But… how would destroying it help? You created it once, wouldn't that make it easier to create another time?"

The demon shook his head. "No, it's almost impossible to create a stable portal to Earth. Stable portals are already difficult between Hell Dimensions. Earth portals are exceedingly rare. The Powers That Be aren't allowed to close existing portals, but they can actively block new portals from forming if they know where to look. With the ritual items destroyed, the odds of finding another hole in their protections are… well, they aren't good God Killer."

"Huh. Well, that explains why there aren't constant armies of demons attacking the Earth." Xander then looked at the demon. "Do you have a name? I can't keep calling you 'demon' in my head"

The demon then spent the next 5 minutes repeating its name, sounding like someone had spiked the beer at a frat party with Syrup of Ipecac.

"I'm just going to call you Chuck"

"As you say, God Killer"

"OK, Chuck, why do you keep calling me God Killer?"

Chuck looked at Xander with some confusion. "I call you God Killer because you killed Acathla, who was a God."

"Well… yeah, ok, that makes sense. But, how did you know that?"

Chuck smiled. "Where do you think I am originally from?"

Xander gawked at the smiling demon. "I thought Acathla's dimension was sucked into him before I killed him. I remember seeing hordes of demons and land flying into his body. At the very least, I know the dimension was destroyed. How are you here?"

Chuck leaned back into the wall to get more comfortable. "I am sure that those still there were absorbed into Acathla. And I am sure my home dimension was destroyed, as it was tied to Acathla's will. With him dead, his will no longer kept the void from claiming it. As for me, I ran away when you began your attack directly on Acathla himself. When it lasted more than a minute, I gambled that you would win. A friend of mine dabbled in portal spells. She created an unstable portal and I jumped in. I ended up here. Luckily, while I was relatively weak compared to the demons of my home dimension, I'm much stronger than the local demons, so taking over was easy. As you may have noticed, the forces here are still weaker than the weakest of Acathla's realm."

"Did a lot of demons jump ship?"

"Probably not. If you had lost… Acathla has an innate ability to wield portals, and he would have easily found us, and… it would have been most unpleasant. I would guess a small number also took the gamble. But as I understand it, a stable portal needs two stable endpoints and your fight had destabilized the entire dimension, so everyone would be jumping into unstable portals. And unstable portals have a nasty habit of connecting to completely random points in space and time."

"OK… but, how did you know Acathla was dead? And how did you know it was me?"

Chuck laughed darkly. "A God does not die quietly. Everyone with enough power, or anyone from that dimension, knew the moment it happened. No matter where in time or space their portals took them, they knew their God was dead. I would be shocked if you have not gained the attention of some very powerful beings."

Chucked refrained from commenting on the slight widening of Xander's eyes. "And I knew it was you, God Killer, because I felt Acathla's power pouring out of the Summer Sword, a mere fraction of a God's power to be sure, but assuredly enough to make demons instinctively wary. The power is also distinct enough to be understood by those of us who have felt the power before. The Summer Sword clearly killed Acathla, and it is easy to feel the connection between the two of you, so it was clearly you who ended Acathla."

Xander looked down at Joyce and focused on the feel of rage he felt when she was covered in flames. Finding that rage easily enough, he concentrated a sudden upswell of power in his chest into Joyce. She then burst into bright green flames, the underlying light pulsing with the each beat of his heart. Looking up, he noticed Chuck wincing slightly at the flames. With a deep breath, Joyce was extinguished, and the green light was dispelled.

Chuck cleared his throat. "Yes, God Killer, you are definitely Acathla's Death."

Xander smirked. "Am I going to get more nicknames like that?"

Chuck shrugged. "Us demons recognize power and give it its due. We do not give nicknames, God Killer, we give names that are signs of honor and respect."

"And I would guess it helps to avoid being randomly killed for being rude to those who are more powerful than you?"

Chuck smiled slightly in response.

After a long moment of comfortable silence, Chuck broke the quiet. "God Killer… I must ask, what are your intentions now that you are here? Are you going to challenge me for leadership?"

Xander blinked, thought about becoming a ruler of a crappy hell dimension, and then shrugged off the thought. "As long as you follow through on getting me your experts on portals… and give me this factory, then I am content to let things be. I am afraid you will have to do without the forks or spoons."

Xander found it odd to see a 10-foot-tall mountain of demonic muscle appear to sigh in relief that little ole Xander Harris wasn't looking for a fight. Then again, Chuck did look a bit runty compared to many of the demons he had slaughtered in Acathla's dimension, so the fight would have likely been pretty one sided against Chuck. Thinking of that strength disparity reminded him of when he accidentally pulled Ken through the cell bars and then casually destroyed the cell door. It was good being so much stronger than those around him, but he really needed to focus on being in control of his own strength.

* * *

"So, there you go G-Man, all it takes to become the subject of a legend that predates your own birth by centuries is to kill a God while his minions run away using unstable portals that spit them out into the past. Easy as pie. Oooh! Can we have pie tonight?"

Giles looked at Xander with a mixture or awe and annoyance. It was hard to reconcile the young man he knew with a mythic figure who had killed a Hell God. Intellectually, he had understood that was what Xander had done, but he had not had the time to fully internalize the truth of it. Having the truth summarized so succinctly and casually was still jarring.

Buffy, however, had already spent the past few years mentally putting Xander on a pedestal. He was the voice in her head that helped her to focus on the people around her. When she met Faith, she had ignored her spike of jealousy and opened her arms to her sister Slayer because her inner Xander would have been disappointed with her otherwise. When she felt overwhelmed, she thought of Xander throwing himself at dangers far beyond his abilities. The Xander in her mind was devoid of all the faults he had before his leap, and his positive traits were exaggerated to an extreme degree. A psychologist would likely consider her subconscious hero worship to be a bit obsessive and unhealthy, but only because it was completely unhealthy and totally obsessive. For this reason, while everyone else kept being shocked and filled with disbelief, Buffy kept feeling vindicated that she was right to put Xander on such an insanely tall pedestal. As such, she was not jarred at all and was able to focus on the important point of the conversation.

"Oooh, pie! What kind?"

Xander gave this serious thought. "… Pumpkin?"

"Nah, too Thanksgivingy"

"Blueberry?"

"Maybe… but I sometimes find the small berries kind of creepy"

"Small berries can be creepy. I mean, why are they so small? They're probably up to something with their small and sneaky ways. Apple? It's all-American."

"… Apple… I could handle that. What do you think Wills?"

Willow, smiling at the banter. "Well, while there are certainly geopolitical concerns with choosing a pie based on its supposed national association, it still is a tasty treat. So, apple works. Tara?"

Tara lifted her head up from where it was cuddled into Willow's shoulder. "I think it sounds fitting. Xander just came back to America, so an all-American pie makes sense. I'm in. Dawn?"

Dawn licked her lips. "Can I put sour cream on it?"

Everyone shuddered, but Xander responded back easily. "Only on your slices, Dawn Patrol."

"Then, I'm in."

Xander the looked at Giles. "What do you say G-Man? I know it's not steak and eel pie, or whatever you eat in the land of tweed, but will apple pie work for you?"

Giles sighed and cleaned his glasses. "Please refrain from calling me that infernal nickname. And, I don't know where you get your ideas about the deserts of my homeland, but we do in fact eat apple pie in England. But, before we prepare for dinner, could you perhaps finish your story?"

"It's not a nickname, G-Man, it's a name of honor and respect" responded a grinning Xander. Giles wasn't sure if he should feel honored or mocked.

Xander, stomach now rumbling for pie, continued. "As for the rest of the story, there is a bit too much to tell before it's time for dinner. But there is not a lot more to tell about my time in Chuck's dimension. Chuck's people helped me understand all about portals, and I learned that my lingering power from Acathla also included a bit of his power over portals. I made a couple of practice portals using Joyce until I got a feel for how they felt. I also worked on getting control of my strength, so that I wouldn't destroy everything I touched and could just instinctively handle things with the appropriate level of gentleness. On top of that I probably spent about 5 years just coming to terms with my time in Acathla's realm and regaining a bit of my sanity."

Buffy paled. "Five years?"

Xander smiled gently and squeezed Buffy's hand. "I wasn't lying when I talked about not being sure if everything was a hallucination. I was more than a touch crazy at that time. While Chuck didn't make the best of company, he was still company that I could talk with and that helped me get off the crazy train."

Buffy hugged him and laid her head on his shoulder. Everyone else just looked at him silently, filling the room with a sense of melancholy and pity.

Ignoring the atmosphere of the room, Xander continued. "Anyways, once I felt that my strength and sanity had been pulled together, I made my farewells. I then focused on creating a portal back to the old Hellmouth and used Joyce to create the portal. It felt stable and as safe as it was going to be, so I jumped in and closed the portal behind me. Sadly, it didn't work right, and I was not home. On the bright side, that's where I ended up getting Ripper there, the lazy mutt."

Ripper lifted his head from Giles lap and gave out a happy bark, lolled his tongue, and snorted a smoke ring out his nose.

"So, how about that pie?"


	7. Chapter 7 - He's a Rescue Dragon

Klatroq The Eviscerator had come to Sunnydale with one mission, to kill The Slayer. He had heard the latest Slayer was an impressive fighter, who had taken down truly impressive demons. If he could take her down, then he would become a living legend. He had already made a name for himself as a terrible enemy to have, and the local demon population made sure he rarely had to pay for his own drinks. With the death of The Slayer added to his resume, he would easily be able to carve a nice kingdom for himself (maybe even claim the Hellmouth as his own).

With that in mind, he had arrived two nights prior, recruiting a vast majority of the vampire population to act as his foot soldiers in taking down The Slayer. Over fifty vampires, all prepared to follow him into glorious battle (such was the respect Klatroq The Eviscerator was due). Though over half the vampires had proven to be cowards when the night attack arrived (word of the previous night's nest clearings had not yet spread to the demon population). Still, he had an army of two dozen vampires ready to attack when The Slayer was sighted.

And sighted, she was. He and his army marched onto the grounds of the cemetery where The Slayer was patrolling (along with a dark haired human and a small dog). When he was 10 feet away, he and his army stopped while facing The Slayer. The two humans stared at him and his army, while the little dog presumably bolted to make its way home (which involved running straight through the army of vampires).

"Slayer! I am Klatroq The Eviscerator, and I am your doom! On this night, I will become a legend, and you and your man will become rotting piles of bones!"

A rushing wind formed behind him, ruffling the cape he wore as a sign of his inherent leadership qualities. The Slayer's eyes widened in shock, while the young man seemed to be too shocked to react appropriately to his own impending death (though most would register the young man's reaction as mild amusement).

"I see you understand the hopelessness of your fight. As it should be. Now, prepare…"

Klatroq The Eviscerator felt the rushing wind transform into a hot and moist wind pulsing on his neck. Turning his head, he noted the air was swirling with an impressive amount of vampire dust, then the complete lack of two dozen vampires, and finally the large dragon breathing on his neck.

"Oh fu…"

With that, Klatroq The Eviscerator became dinner.

As Buffy watched Ripper revert into his adorable puppy dog form, while coughing out a truly tacky cape, she looked over at Xander. "OK, decapitating two dozen vamps in a couple seconds and eating Mr. Clay Truck whole… color me impressed. Please tell me that's not normal for a dragon, because that would be a whole world of no."

Xander hugged Buffy with one arm, while scratching behind the ears of a happy Ripper. "It's not normal. Ripper is one of a kind." Ripper barked joyfully and jumped to perform a backflip.

As this was the last cemetery of the evening's patrol, Buffy just allowed herself to lean in and rest her head on Xander's shoulder while listening to the pleased panting of Ripper the Demon Dragon Dog.

The rest of the evening was spent chatting, with Xander continuing to catch up on what had been going on while he was away. He learned more about Faith, and how her and her Watcher (Wesley) were in Los Angeles helping Angel to fight the good fight. Buffy had tensed up a bit when she told him about Cordelia marrying a half-demon seer named Doyle (who had almost sacrificed himself before being saved by an irate Faith), the tension was released when Xander only smiled and expressed his happiness for his ex-girlfriend. Though he and Cordelia were together when he jumped into Hell, it had been a very long time for him, and he couldn't begrudge her finding someone to love.

After their chat, they made their way home and once again Xander slept with the two Summers sisters cuddling into him (despite Buffy seeming disgruntled by Dawn joining in). The next morning, the gang got together and settled in to hear about his next step on his journey through Hell.

* * *

As Xander examined his new location, it was easy to tell that he was not in Sunnydale. The sky was a dark purple, swirling with eddies of palpable malice. Not far into the distance, something was growing towards a singular point of yellow light that hovered in the sky. The growing thing looked to be a grotesque mockery of the beanstalk from Jack and The Beanstalk.

The landscape could be best described as dead. It was flat and featureless, save for the countless demon corpses rotting everywhere. While the area around his old factory had been a desert and devoid of life, this area seemed to be overflowing with death.

Speaking of death, all around him were demons making their way to the beanstalk. They were occasionally attacking each other or feasting on the dead. Joyce had subconsciously already been energized, and swirled with green and white light, pulsing steadily. Once Xander had noticed this, he wasn't sure if most of the demons were avoiding him or Joyce. While he wasn't under constant attack, he still found himself hacking through a fair number of demons that decided to have a go at him.

With nothing better to do, he began to walk towards the beanstalk in the distance. Along this walk, he came across a pack of demons attacking a large demonic dragon. He was prepared to ignore the sight when the dragon sent out a loud yelp of pain.

Now, Xander had heard demons cry out in pain in a myriad of different ways (having caused much of the pain himself). There had been bellows, and rageful cries, and cries that promised vengeance, and yells that sent waves of malice through the air. He hadn't even realized it, but every cry had an undercurrent of evil filling it. He only realized the undercurrent had existed because this had been the very first cry of pain that had been free of evil. It was… jarring.

Xander turned towards the dragon, looking at its panic filled eyes as it fought off the pack of demons looking for some tasty dragon meat. It had killed several of the pack, but at great cost to its health. It was clear that the dragon was not going to win this fight.

Xander hesitated, realizing that he shouldn't worry about demons killing demons, and the dragon yelped again. In that moment, Xander no longer saw a demonic dragon. He saw an innocent being attacked by demons. And with that, he rushed forward.

The first demon he reached was in the process of swiping its razor-sharp claws at the undefended neck of the dragon. It successfully completed the swipe, and then noticed the neck was uninjured, followed by noticing that its hand was no longer attached to its arm. It then felt a pulse of energy that felt like a much more powerful demon had arrived. Looking up, it saw what looked like a human and felt like much more. Finally, it saw the man's fist heading right for its head. It then was unable to notice anything else.

Xander pulled his fist out of the demon's head, having gone straight through. He then turned around, feeling his adrenaline start to pump as the demons seemed to slow down to a crawl in their attacks. Joyce flashed through the air, slicing through limbs, torsos, and necks as if they offered no resistance. Xander's fists and feet found themselves perforating demon bodies as a brutal counterpoint to Joyce's deadly elegance. Before the demonic pack could register the danger, they found themselves dead or dying on the unforgiving ground.

Xander exhaled and felt the world return to a normal speed again. He looked into the dragon's eyes, as it stared back at him. For a long moment, he waited to see if the beast would attack him. Finally, the dragon broke eye contact and lowered its head.

With his good deed done, he turned back towards the beanstalk and began to walk. He made it a dozen steps before hearing a shuffling sound behind him along with pained whimpers. Turning around he saw the dragon had pulled itself forward to follow him, but its bodily damage clearly was extensive enough to make the task difficult and vastly painful.

He stared at the dragon again, which kept its head lowered. With a headshake, he turned back towards the beanstalk and took another few steps before hearing the dragging and whimpering again. With a loud sigh and a grumble of "you're being stupid, Xander", he turned back towards the dragon and walked up to it.

"Hey big guy…"

Xander slowly extended his hand out towards the dragon. It became very still, staring at the extended hand as if expecting to be attacked again. Slowly, it extended its neck and pressed its nose against the hand, and then pushed forward a bit more and began to rub its nose against the offered appendage.

A very surprised Xander stared as the massive demonic dragon rubbed against his hand like a terrifying oversized puppy. Being this close, he could easily the gashes covering most of the body of the poor thing.

"I'm sorry boy, but I don't really know how to heal dragons. Or, really heal anything. I'm good at killing demons, but never had any call to heal them. I would like to help you, I really would, but I am not sure how."

The dragon, not knowing English (or any other language), didn't respond to the words. It just kept on rubbing against Xander's hand. The skin of the dragon was very rough, but Xander barely noted that it had scraped his hands bloody in a couple of places (as his pain threshold was very high and his healing speed was such that the scrapes healed almost immediately). After a while, the one gash on the dragon's snout started to heal.

Staring at the slowly healing gash, he noticed that the other gashes were not healing. Looking at his own hand, he had a fair guess as to what just happened. It was far from his first experience of mingling blood causing a change in his body. It was, however, the first time that the benefit had gone from him towards a demon. The question now was, what should he do about it?

With a sigh, and once again telling himself that he was being an idiot, he decided to follow through on his earlier words to the dragon. He just hoped it didn't come back to bite him on the ass (in a very literal way). With a quick slice of his hand, he rubbed his bloody palm over the gash located over the dragon's right eye. With the greater amount of blood, the gash began to heal in seconds. Additionally, the dragon seemed to become friendlier towards him. There was something distinctly disturbing and adorable about having a giant dragon tongue run over one's face.

Looking at the dragon's body, seeing the many gashes covering its body, he guessed it was going to take at least an hour to finish healing the beast. Given that demons still were passing by, and occasionally needing to be killed, he did not look forward to being distracted for such a long time.

"Oh well, if you're going to do something stupid, might as well embrace the stupidity completely. OK, big guy, open up and let's see if this does the trick."

Xander took Joyce (still pulsing with a swirl of white and green light) and firmly grasped the sharp blade, keeping his wound from healing. Dripping his blood on its muzzle, the dragon quickly took the hint and began lapping up the freely offered gift. Within a minute, the gashes and minor wounds began to glow green as they quickly healed. Then the body began to fill out and seemed less thin and sickly. The dragon's eyes then began to take on a slightly more focused and intelligent look, while the became faintly backlit by a pure white light. As the dragon seemed to heal, grow, and evolve, Xander felt a faint connection building in his mind where he could somewhat sense the dragon's mood and base desires. The primary mood being joy, and a desire to please his new master.

When the errant thought of "he's like an oversized dog" popped into his mind, along with image of a floppy eared wiener dog, Xander was shocked when the dragon transformed into the exact same dog from his imagination. Deciding that he may have shared a bit too much of his blood, he quickly pulled his hand away from Joyce and let his fast healing close the wound.

"I guess there was a bit more to that connection I felt, eh boy?"

The dog barked joyfully, sending out the desire for scratching an itch behind its ears. Xander sat down and obliged the happy dog/dragon/demon.

"Well, I guess you're not going to let me go off on my own, huh?"

The dog sent a mood of determination, and a desire to not be alone.

"That's what I thought. You're going to need a name. Spot? Fido? No… how about…"

The dog sent a mood of anger, and a desire to protect. Then pounced over Xander's shoulder. Transforming back into its oversized dragon form and attacked the dozen or so demons that had been sneaking up behind Xander. Xander watched as his new buddy easily tore into the demons that were clearly much stronger then pack of demons he had disposed of earlier. Clearly, drinking Hell God enhanced blood had a bit of a beneficial effect. With the demons quickly dispatched, and then charred by a gout of dragon fire, Xander found himself scratching the ears of a happy dog that was projecting a sense of smug satisfaction.

"Good job, boy! I got to admit, I'm impressed by how quickly you go from friendly to terrifying. Oooh! It's just like how G-Man got when his friend called him Ripper. Do you like that name, boy? How about I call you Ripper?"

With a mood of happiness, Ripper finally had his name.

* * *

Over the next few hours, a much happier Xander strolled casually towards the beanstalk. Smiling as Ripper ran around his heels, exulting in the joys of being so small and furry. The demons heading in the same direction seemed to be confused by the pair. Xander was sure that they were torn between being wary of the pulsing light of Joyce, and eagerness to make a snack of the small dog. As such, many demons gave them a wide berth while a few made for the attack. Xander was greatly amused by Ripper's joy in playing with his new-found powers and discovering that he could still breath fire in his dog form. Though, it was disturbing watching the wiener dog stretching his mouth to ten times his size to swallow a man-sized demon.

As they made their way to the beanstalk, a sudden tearing sound filled the air. Looking upwards, he could see the yellow light in the sky begin to widen and the beanstalk surging upward into the light, while cracks of yellow light began to spread across the sky. It was as if the dark purple sky was a pane of glass that was preparing to shatter. With that, the flow of demons turned into a mad dash as they began sprinting towards the beanstalk.

All of this was secondary to the feeling that filled Xander's soul. When he looked at the light, he felt an all-encompassing call. Every fiber of being told him that he needed to get into that light. He didn't just want to be in that light, he NEEDED it! Joyce burst out in a bright white light that was completely devoid of green.

"Ripper, we need to get there. NOW!"

Ripper sent out a desire to be ridden and turned back into his dragon form. Xander didn't question it, he simply leaped atop and held on tight. With that, Ripper pumped his now much more powerful wings and they were airborne. Quickly they traversed the distance, Xander subconsciously forcing his power into Ripper to help achieve even greater speeds. The demons below became little more than blurry specks.

Within minutes, they had reached the beanstalk and could see it in much better detail. It was covered in buds, each containing a grotesque monstrosity of a face with a mouth filled with razor sharp teeth. Each face was in turn covered with bulbs that each contained their own face, creating a fractal of demonic death. As demons rushed up the demonic beanstalk, those who neared a bulb would soon be entrapped by massive barbed tendrils that pulled their victims into the bulb to be messily devoured.

As they rapidly ascended, Joyce flashed left and right, severing tendrils that shot out to catch the man and his dragon. Once they reached the light, Xander grabbed the base of the head of the beanstalk (the top was already through the light).

"Ripper! Dog! Now!"

Obediently, Ripper transformed to his dog form and was promptly stuffed down the front of Xander's shirt. Xander barely registered as Ripper's claws took purchase in the flesh of his chest.

With one hand, Xander held firm to the beanstalk. He then stabbed Joyce straight up, her white energy easily slicing through the skin of the demonic beanstalk. With that, he quickly took a firmer hand hold in the tear. With another slice, he created a new hand hold. While occasionally slicing off a searching tendril, he continued toward the yellow light, forming handholds in the skin of the giant green abomination (though it seemed to take on a more brownish color as it neared the yellow light). He blocked out the shrieking which made his bones feel like they were vibrating.

Finally, after an arduous several minutes, performing a macabre version of rock climbing while hanging high above a mass of demons that had been worked into a feeding frenzy of blood lust, he reached the yellow light. With a last slice, he cut off a portion of demon flesh that kept it hooked on the other side of the light (which felt like a portal). Xander pushed his hand up into the light and felt his hand grab onto a firm surface. As the demon began to sag out of the portal, Xander began to squeeze his body into the gap between the border of the light and the body of the demon.

As he was about to take the risk of thrusting his sword arm up through the portal, he felt a powerful pain in his hand. It felt as if it had been stabbed, repeatedly. Also, each finger being stomped down on powerfully. He tried to hold on, but the surface was already smooth, and his own blood made the surface impossibly slippery. Try as he might, he lost his hold and slipped out of the portal. The demon had already slumped away enough that there was nothing keeping him stuck. So, Xander fell.

A split second later, a loud crack sounded, and the portal collapsed back into a single point of yellow light. With a roar of rage, the demonic beanstalk began to whip down towards Xander's falling body. The demons below stared at his falling form with anticipation.

Had Xander known Ripper for longer, he might have thought of pulling him out and riding him to safety. However, his only thought was to go anywhere else. He pointed Joyce below him, with it ignited in green flames. A bolt of energy zoomed in front of him, forming a small portal which he fell through.

He slammed into hard rock in a location devoid of all light save for the flames of the Sword of Summers. He turned and closed the portal right before one of the tendrils could follow him through.

With a deep breath of relief, he pulled Ripper out of his shirt, the claw marks on his chest healing rapidly. He placed the dog on the ground and took great comfort in petting the smooth fur.

"Looks like we made it out of there, boy. Now… where is here?"

A voice from behind him spoke up. "You're almost home"

Xander's eyes widened, he stood up and quickly and spun around to see the source of his voice. The green flames extinguished to be replaced by the familiar bright white light. He could not hold back the shock as he beheld the speaker.

"Buffy?"


	8. Chapter 8 - Sealy Dan

"Buffy?"

Xander stared at the face that he thought he would never see again. There were the familiar blonde locks, the small smile he was used to seeing during the happy times, and the eyes filled with a deep caring. After so long, it felt like looking in the eyes of an angel.

And yet, there was something… off.

He was used to instinctively utilizing his enhanced senses to observe the world around him, so that he could stay aware of the dangers surrounding him. Right now, he knew there was a danger lurking in the darkness. There was a skittering of claw on rock, and a sense of malice directed at him. He suspected that Joyce's light was keeping them at bay.

He could feel Ripper pressing into his leg and sending out an emotion of wariness. More than that, he could feel the warmth radiating from his dragon/dog, hear the soft breathing, and sense the vibrations in the air as Ripper moved slightly.

But when he extended his senses out to Buffy, there was… almost nothing. There was some sort of energy there, but physically his other senses told him he was looking at empty air. If not for the fact he could see and hear Buffy, he would never think she was there.

Just to be sure, he tentatively reached out his hand to feel her. She didn't move as his fingers neared her. As they passed through her shoulder without resistance, she smiled sadly.

As he felt his hopes crash, and Joyce began to dim, he shook his head slowly. "Just a hallucination. Of course it is. Welcome to Crazyville, Xander"

Before he could turn around, or speak anything else, Buffy spoke up. "I'm not a hallucination, Xan. I'm not here, but I am real. Willow is casting a spell that is letting me talk with you. If you weren't so close to home, this wouldn't be possible."

"It's really you?"

Buffy smiled radiantly. "It's really me."

Xander felt joy refill his soul, and Joyce pulsed with a burst of white light in response. "How did you know I was still alive?"

"We didn't. I didn't. I thought you died when you jumped into that portal. But I had a Slayer dream last night, and it told me that you were alive, and I had a chance to talk with you. So, Willow and Giles did the research, and here I am."

"Willow is alive?"

"Yeah, it was real touch and go there. You were right to be afraid about her casting that soul curse. She's fine. Everyone is fine. We're all excited to get you back home. And you're so close! Follow me."

Xander watched as Buffy turned and began to walk into the darkness. He followed her. As they walked, they talked.

"So… how is Deadboy?"

He could hear the smile in her voice. "Angel? I haven't heard from him in a while. We tried to make things work after he got his soul back, but there was just too much history to get over. I think both of us knew that things were doomed as soon as you jumped into the portal. Neither one of us could quite shake the idea that I had chosen the wrong guy."

Xander was stunned into silence, so he just followed Buffy in silence. She seemed to recognize the need for silence, and just let him follow. Whatever was skittering in the darkness was following but keeping its distance.

After a short time, they reached a passageway in the cave, with steps carved into the rock. At the top of the steps, there was a large metal seal in the ceiling, blocking the steps.

"What's that?"

"That is the Seal of Danzalthar. It's what separates you from coming home to me. Just cut yourself and spread your blood around on it until it opens. Easy as pie!"

Xander stared at the seal doubtfully. "I don't know Buff. I'm no expert, but I think a blood sacrifice rarely is of the good. And I don't think I have ever heard Giles talk about a seal opening ever being a good thing. Are you sure about this?"

"I'm sure, Xan! Just open the seal and you can finally be home. Come home to me, Xander. Please?"

Xander stared at the seal. Could it be that easy? Just smear some blood, and he would be home. Even if it didn't work, wasn't it worth the risk? Just a simple cut, and he would be with his loved ones. He took a step closer to the seal, moving his hand towards Joyce's sharp edge.

A spike of anxiety from Ripper distracted Xander. He looked down and was surprised to see how close he was to slicing open his hand. He hadn't even realized what he was doing. Was this the right thing to do? It had to be! Or did he just want it to be? It was so tempting… but he really needed more information. He didn't sacrifice himself in the first place, just to end up personally opening a portal to hell on Earth.

"Buff, this seal… can it be closed once I walk through?"

"Of course, Xan, we're ready on the other side. Giles has everything we need to close it."

"Are you certain? I mean, I haven't seen them yet, but there are other things in the caves below. It wouldn't be that great to come home and unleash Hell on Earth in the process. That would put a real crimp in the victory party. So, how are we going to keep these beasties from leaving?"

"I'm certain, Xan. Willow found the spell to keep the Turok-Han at bay while we close the seal. Just open it, and we'll take care of it. We got this Xan, just open the seal. Trust me, Xander!"

Xander stared at the seal for a minute, his unease growing. This felt too simple. He had plenty of experiences on Earth where something too good to be true was indeed not true, and he felt that would apply even more so in a Hell dimension. No, this felt like too big of a risk. Sadly, he turned away from the seal and back towards Buffy.

"I do trust you, Buffy, but…"

"No! Xan don't say it! Don't abandon me! Please, just open the seal. All you have to…"

Buffy's image began to flicker, and her words started to drop occasionally.

"Just… Willow says… overriding… don't know… one second."

Buffy's image finally disappeared. Xander closed his eyes, and tiredly rubbed his hand over his face.

"Hey Bro!"

Xander's eyes snapped wide open to see another face. An impossible face.

"Jesse?"

* * *

Where Buffy had once stood, now stood a dark-haired teenage boy. A face that Xander would always recognize. One of the best friends he had ever had. There stood Jesse McNally, in all his youthful glory. The youthful face he had before he had been killed and turned into vampiric mockery. That, of course, led to Xander's main problem with seeing Jesse.

"Jesse is dead!"

Jesse didn't react to those words, or the cold expression filling Xander's eyes.

"I know, Bro. Thanks for staking the vamp that was wearing my face, by the way. It means a lot to know that my body was stopped from causing too much harm."

"No problem. Assuming you are him, how are you here Jesse?"

"I'm not really here, Xander. I'm still in Heaven, but we got permission to piggyback off Willow's spell to talk with you."

"And what did you want to talk about?"

"First, I just wanted to say that we've all been watching you as you've been kicking demon butt down here. Not that Heaven has much use for the idea of celebrities, but you have quite the following up here. I even got a date with Marilyn Monroe because I'm your friend. So, thanks for that."

Xander chuckled. "I'm glad that dying didn't temper your horndog attitude, and I am able to fulfil my wingman duties in the great beyond. What's the second thing?"

"Second, we know that you are worried about opening the seal there. We wanted to let you know that Giles and Willow will be able to close it quicker than Cordelia could shoot me down for a date. It's safe. You've suffered enough, Bro. It's time to go home."

Xander was still unconvinced. "It's great to see you, Jesse. I mean it. But, no offense, you're hardly an expert on the mystic arts."

Jesse smiled back good-naturedly. "It's great to see you too, Xan Man. And I want you to live a nice long life before we meet again. I also know that I probably wasn't the best person to convince you, but I still wanted to see you one more time. There's someone else here who might be able to convince you. Take care, bro!"

Xander smiled. "You too, Jesse, you too."

With that Jesse disappeared, and was replaced with another familiar person.

"Hello Mrs. C"

* * *

Where Jesse had been standing was now Jenny Calendar, a woman who Xander had known very well and for too short a time. A beautiful woman who had won the heart of Rupert Giles and starred in many dreams of a teenage Xander Harris (especially after a certain love spell mishap that would not be thought of further). She had been born Janna of the Kalderash gypsy clan, the same clan that had cursed Angelus with a soul and hence created Angel. After her death at the hands of a reborn Angelus, Xander found his dreams of her had turned to nightmares.

"Hello Mrs. C"

"Xander, I think after fighting the forces of darkness together, you can call me Jenny. Plus, I don't think my job as your teacher continued on after my death."

Xander smiled sadly. "I was really sorry that you died… Jenny. Maybe if we had been a bit more open to you…"

"Maybe is a dangerous word, Xander. Maybe I wouldn't have died, but maybe Rupert would have died in my place. We can't live in the world of maybe, Xander"

Xander smirked. "Maybe you're right"

Jenny laughed, a light twinkling laugh that seemed out of place given the surroundings. "I've missed your wit, Xander."

Xander smiled easily. "As infrequent as it was used, it was easy to miss. So… what do you think I should do about this seal?"

"You know what I am going to say Xander. You need to open it. Your friends… your family is waiting for you. They need you, Xander!"

Xander shook his head. "But what if they can't close the seal? I know that seals are different than portals, and so I won't be able to close it by myself. What if I unleash Hell on Earth? I doubt that they need me, but even if they did, do they need me badly enough to risk triggering an apocalypse?"

Jenny sighed. "Xander, I spent my life studying magic, and have been able to study it further in Heaven. Their plan is foolproof, and they will close the seal after you pass through it. You do them a great disservice by underestimating their abilities. And you do yourself a great disservice by underestimating how much you are needed. Buffy and Willow are both on the edge of mental collapse. If you don't seize this opportunity, I don't think I will have too long to wait before they make a suicidal mistake and they join me in the afterlife."

Xander's face betrayed the internal struggle keeping him from committing to one path. So, Jenny continued speaking. "Look, Xander, I told you about living in the world of maybe. Your friends know how to close the seal, but you're afraid that maybe they won't be capable. While you worry about a maybe, just know that you are definitely pushing your friends to perform acts of suicidal recklessness. If you choose not to open that seal, then you are choosing to kill your friends."

Jenny looked up. "Willow is about to get control of the spell again, I have to leave. Don't live in maybe, Xander. Save yourself and you save your friends."

With that, Jenny was replaced with Buffy.

* * *

"Xander! Can you hear me?" yelled a frantic Buffy.

"I can see and hear you, Buff"

Buffy sighed in relieve. "Oh, thank God! Willow said something was interfering with her communication spell, and I thought we had lost you."

Xander smiled at Buffy, wishing that he could give her a reassuring hug. "You'll never lose me, Buff. You'll always have me, no matter which dimension I happen to be in."

Buffy beamed. "Well, just open the seal and then we can be in the same dimension."

Xander didn't move. "I don't know, Buff. Something just seems… too simple about this. It feels like a trap. I can open portals myself with my sword, and I'm sure that I can find my way home eventually."

"No! Xander, don't do this! You're so close, just open the seal and come home. Please!"

"I'm sorry Buffy, but I…"

"Xander! Do you remember the first thing you said to me?"

Xander could clearly remember the first time he had talked with Buffy. She had her bag knocked out of her hands, and he rushed over to help her get her things back together. He had intended to ask her if could help her. Instead, thanks to Freud, he asked a much more embarrassing question.

Quietly, in that cavern, Xander whispered those remembered words. "Can I have you?"

Buffy smiled. "That's right. Not your smoothest moment, but not your worst moment either."

"Well, I did get a centuries-old life sucking teenage girl mummy to fall for me, so clearly I have some moves. Just, you know, not moves that lead to a happy ending for me."

Buffy laughed sweetly, and then stared into Xander's eyes with a new intensity. "The thing is, the younger Buffy maybe wasn't interested in the offer, but this Buffy is older. This Buffy has had a chance to see you fight the forces of darkness with no special abilities except for having a strong heart and will. This Buffy has had a chance to see you jump into Hell, just to give her a shot at happiness. And this Buffy has had a chance to see you standing there with a mostly bare chest that is drool-worthy."

"What are you saying, Buff?"

"I'm saying, my answer is now yes. You can have me!"

Xander's throat suddenly felt very dry as he croaked out a reply. "I can?"

Buffy nodded, her voice growing husky. "You can have me anyway you want me. Anywhere you want me. Anywhen you want me. Open that seal, and you can see just how much you can have me."

Xander stared at Buffy in shock and spoke hesitantly. "But what about those demons? Those…"

"Turok-Han"

"Right. What if you can't close that Seal of…"

"Danzalthar"

"Right. What if you can't close the seal and they get loose?"

"We will close it, Xan! And on the small chance that some get loose, then we will take care of them together. We'll have you, and it will be a fair trade."

Xander stared at Buffy, and then at the seal. Finally, the indecision dropped away from his expression.

"No"

Anger was laced in Buffy's voice now. "What do you mean, no?"

Xander spoke with a voice and expression full of certainty. "It's too risky, Buff. I'll find my own way. I know you don't believe this, but I'm doing this for you."

Buffy's face contorted into rage. "You'll find your own way!? You have no hope! Your pitiful sword will never get you home! You say you are doing this for me, but all you are doing is failing me… again! Open the seal, Xander! Open the seal! OPEN THE SEAL!"

Xander stared at Buffy in horror, as a nearly forgotten memory surfaced. He remembered when he first started his battles in Acathla's dimension, a voice kept telling him to surrender as that first demon kept handing him his ass. A voice telling him to quit. A voice telling him to lie down and just accept the torture. The last thing the voice said to him had been, "You have no hope, your pitiful sword will never even touch the demon. You say you do this for Buffy, but all you are doing is failing for Buffy. Give up! Give Up! GIVE UP!"

That was what had tipped him over the edge and begun his berserker rage. The point where he had begun his war call of "For Buffy!". It could have so easily tipped him over the edge to surrender, and instead pushed him to the point of killing a Hell God. At the time, he thought he had been listening to his own self-doubt, but now…"

"It was you? You're the voice from Acathla's dimension."

Buffy looked surprised, and her face instantly changed from unceasing rage into the perfect picture of confused innocence. "What are you talking about Xander? This is the first time I've been able to talk to you since you jumped into the portal."

"You're not Buffy! Who are you!?"

Buffy stared at Xander with an expression full of confusion. Slowly, her expression transformed to one of evil smugness. Xander was unpleasantly reminded of Angelus.

"What gave me away?"

* * *

Xander stared at Evil Buffy, aghast.

Evil Buffy began to smile in malicious glee. "So, what was it that tipped you off Xan? Did I push the opening the seal a bit too much? No, you were still on the fence… Ah, I know…"

Evil Buffy began to walk around Xander, making him feel much like he was watching a dorsal fin of a shark circling around him as he treaded water in the ocean. Ripper pressed into his leg, growling at the woman.

"It was when I told you that you finally had a shot with blonde bimbo, wasn't it? You could believe that your friends had found a way to communicate with you in Hell. You could believe that they had found a convenient door for you to use to go home. But you could not believe that Buffy Summers would ever want to have anything to do with you in a romantic way!"

Evil Buffy laughed with a cruelty that came to her with great ease. "Not that I can blame you, of course. I mean, look at you. There is nothing at all interesting about you. You are nothing but the comic relief, who rarely gets a laugh even in that role. There are only two things that you have done of any note. First, you saved the Vampire Kissing Slayer's life by using a skill so specialized that only every life guard in the world knows it, or anyone with 30 minutes to blow on a weekend. Your second thing was acting as a human shield and jumping into a portal to Hell, which made her happy because it meant she could find out how far she could push things before releasing Angel's pesky soul. Do you think they have an Orb of Thesulah handy in their bedroom as they play Naughty Slayer and Sexy Vampire? The closest you ever got to revving Buffy's engine was that your disapproval just made their forbidden romance a touch spicier. Now that they know about the curse clause, you wouldn't even be able to contribute that small amount to affecting her sex drive. Yes, I knew that stating she wanted you was a bridge too far."

Xander tightened his jaw. "Who are you?"

Evil Buffy sneered. "Oh, is this where you expect me to tell you all of my evil plans? Do you know why a villain reveals their plans to their arch-nemesis? They do it to improve the quality of the game. There is a great joy in telling your foe what you are going to do and watching as they are unable to stop you. There is of course a risk of being defeated, but that is what makes the victory all the sweeter. We taunt the hero, because it makes things fun. We don't taunt the unskilled labor the hero uses for fetching donuts, it would just be sad."

"Aren't you taunting me now?"

"No, I'm reveling in crushing your pitiful spirit. It is more fun to destroy the will of a hero, but you'll do as an absolute last resort. Seriously, your Buffy would be best, but I would be happy with Angel, or Giles, or Willow. Heck, even Willy the Snitch counts as more of a hero than you do, because he at least serves drinks to the demons and occasionally makes them too drunk to do evil. But, for a complete nothing, you have been decent sport and I appreciate it. Watching your face as you came to terms with your past failures has been a pure delight."

Evil Buffy shimmered into a new form and took on the appearance of Jesse. "Hey, bro. I can't believe you bought that I was talking to you from Heaven… bro. As if I would be there. When a person is turned, their soul takes the demon's place in Hell. When the vamp is dusted, the soul stays in Hell. So, congratulations on dusting me, and damning me to eternity in Hell. If you ever see Willow again, thank her for being willing to pull Angel's soul out of Hell to save Buffy's boyfriend, but the rest of us get abandoned. That's true friendship!"

Xander's face became very stoic. However, Evil Jesse still grinned at the sight of the tears brimming in the eyes of that stoic face.

Evil Jesse then transformed to Jenny. "Oh, Xander, you poor little idiot. Did you believe that at least I was in Heaven? A gypsy dedicated to the family tradition of torturing someone for centuries? Sure, it was Angel, but it still doesn't make me a good person. Although, I had changed my ways and was almost to the point of earning forgiveness. If I had lived a little longer, then I would haven't been damned to eternal torment. If you had spoken up when I was being kicked out of your little clique, then I would still be alive and working my way towards earning my spot in Heaven. But you were too much of a coward to stand up to your self-righteous friends. Then again, they think so little of you that they probably would have ignored you. Well, while you're an unimportant bug who could never have done anything to help me, but the effort would have been nice."

As a single tear rolled down Xander's cheek, Evil Buffy returned. "You see Xander, that's your legacy. On the rare occasion that you rose above the point of being completely useless and unimportant, you have actively made people's lives worse and damned them to Hell."

With a voice that was tight, clearly forced to sound emotionless, Xander spoke up. "If that was true, then why did you try to get me give up in Acathla's dimension? Why did you try to get me to open the seal?"

Evil Buffy laughed. A loud and horrible sound, like a thousand chalk boards being scratched with fingernails while rubbing balloons together. Underneath the laugh was the sound of skittering coming from down the stairs. "I tried to get you to give up because you bring the quality of the heroes down. I want to go up against a difficult opponent, not someone who is distracted by babysitting you. Also, I love the sound of humans screaming in eternal pain. And I wanted you to open the seal because you have blood, you're here, and I want to have some fun on Earth. Don't flatter yourself into thinking you are more important than you are. In fact, if you really believe in your war cry of 'For Buffy', then you would just lie down and die. Your death is the only thing you could give her that would be of any value."

Xander closed his eyes, squeezing out the last of the brimming tears. As he opened them, the last remnants of emotion fled from his expression. He turned away from the seal and back down the stairs towards the skittering in the cavern below. As he walked, he spoke, trusting this entity would be listening.

"Maybe I am useless. You are unable to touch the world around you, so you would be an expert on being useless. But you talk as if I don't know that my primary gift to her, is my death. I have known that from the first day I met her. We all give the same gift in the end, death is the final gift any mortal gives, and it's all about who we give it to and how it is given. For some, they give their death to no one and assign no care to how it is given. Others might give their death to their family and try to give it after a lifetime of caring for them. For me, my death is given to her. And how I give it, is by helping to take out as much evil as I can before it ever has a chance to touch her. When I say, 'For Buffy', I am reaffirming my dedication to fighting and dying for her. Now, let's see what evil I am going to fight down here."

As Xander stepped out of the hallway to overlook the chamber, he flared his energy into Joyce. Her light pulsed and he could see a countless number of ugly and monstrous demons. They looked like a more pale, animalistic, and wiry version of The Master (Buffy's first arch-nemesis in Sunnydale). All of them seemed to be tensed, awaiting the command to attack.

Evil Buffy spoke up with a casual tone. "Well, if you're committed to dying, then allow me to be a good host and have my boys help you out with that. If you make it of this alive and see your so-called friends again, let them know I'm looking forward to meeting them some day. I would stay and watch, but you're just not important enough to care about. Have fun boys!"

With that, Evil Buffy disappeared, and the horde surged forward.

"FOR BUFFY!"

Joyce blazed with swirling green and white light and flame. Ripper transformed into his dragon form and his skin pulsed with the same green and white light.

Fang and claw met light, fire, and dragon flame.


	9. Chapter 9 - Turkeys and Dancers

"It was lying. You know that, right?"

Xander found himself surprised by the interruption. He had been so absorbed in the memory that he had forgotten that he had company. While he knew that it was just words spoken by some evil spirit, the memory of the conversation was still surprisingly effective. He looked up at Giles, the source of the interruption.

"What?"

Giles smiled kindly at the young man. "The entity, it was lying to you."

Xander smiled slightly. "I kind of figured that out, G-Man. What with it admitting to not being Buffy and all"

Giles leaned forward, taking care not disturb Ripper sleeping on his lap. "I know you are aware of the fact it was not really Buffy, or Jenny, or Jesse. However, it was lying about so much more than just that. It was clear from your story that the entity knew you well enough to play on your most deeply held hopes. If not for your remarkable dog, I suspect we would have found out what opening that seal would have caused. Since it knew your hopes, I suspect that it knew your fears. And I want you to know, know to the very depths of your soul, it was lying!"

Xander looked around at his friends. He saw nothing but caring in their eyes, even Tara was sending off waves of empathy. He felt Buffy's hand in his hand, her thumb gently stroking up and down his palm. With a deep sigh, he let some of the stress flow from his body.

"What was it lying about?"

Giles suppressed a desire to stand up and squeeze Xander's shoulder in a show of support. Instead he continued to lightly scratch behind Ripper's ears. When he spoke, it was with a gentle but earnest tone.

"First, Jenny's death was not your fault."

"I know that, sure, but if I just…"

"No! It was not your fault. She was working late at night in a public school where vampires could freely enter, while actively acting against Angelus. We were all targets, but with her threatening to return his soul, she was always going to be a higher priority target. If we had known she was working late at the school, perhaps we could have saved her that time. On the other hand, had we succeeded in protecting her then perhaps someone else would have died in her stead. We live on a Hellmouth and unfortunately these things happen with depressing regularity. The blame falls squarely on Angelus. It was not your fault!"

When Xander didn't protest, Giles nodded before continuing.

"Second, a person's soul does not take a vampire's place in Hell."

Xander opened his mouth to say something but was silenced by Giles raising his hand.

"The Watchers have been around for a very long time, and it should come as no shock that we have studied vampires in excruciating detail. Over the years, a fair number of Watchers have been killed by a loved one who had been turned, all because they were unwilling to accept that the victim's soul was no longer present. They would attempt to subdue the vampire and try to bring the soul to the forefront by entreating their loved ones to 'fight it', and then would invariably die when they lost control of the demon. To avoid this, the Council decided to dedicate its resources to answer the question one way or another."

"With the help of what Cordelia calls 'The Powers That Be', the Council successfully designed a simple spell that lets us know in which realm a soul can be found. While it's not precise enough to state where in the dimension it is, nor even the exact dimension, it can tell us if the soul is in a Heaven dimension, a Hell dimension, or Earth…"

"You can do that!?" piped up an excited Willow.

Giles frowned at the interruption as he looked over at Willow. "Yes, I have the spell in my apartment. I would say that it is not invoked often, as it can be a rather… uncomfortable experience to discover that a loved one's final reward is not what one would have hoped. But, Xander, I can guarantee you that we have plentiful records of instances where a turned victim's soul resides in one of the Heaven dimensions."

Xander's shoulders visibly relaxed, as Willow's eyes sparked with interest.

"Did you check on Angel's soul? I bet he was in a Heaven dimension. He was a champion, so of course he was there. Are there any other spells for souls? Oh! Maybe we could..."

"Willow, honey…" spoke up Tara quietly.

Willow stopped speaking and looked into Tara's eyes.

"I don't think Mr. Giles would have cast the spell to check on Angel's soul. I know I wouldn't have done it. I don't know what would feel worse, knowing I pulled a soul from their eternal peace or knowing I might be giving a secretly evil person a chance to walk around the Earth again. There is a reason why Wiccans consider soul magics to be the blackest of magics."

Willow's expression darkened, and she began to look distinctly uncomfortable. "But… Angelus was going to end the world and… Buffy deserved to be happy. That couldn't have been black magic. I was saving the world! I wouldn't just…"

Tara stroked Willow's face. "Shh… we all know you meant well. Everyone in this room is painfully aware that unpleasant choices need to be made when saving the world. We just need to remember that extraordinary actions should only be taken for extraordinary circumstances. How about tonight we perform some cleansing rituals to help remove any residual dark magic that might still be in your system?"

Willow nodded slowly, kissed Tara lightly, and cuddled into her love. Tara smiled and then nodded at Giles, indicating he should continue.

"Yes… now, where was I?"

Xander redirected his attention from his best friend, Willow, and looked back at Giles. "You told me that Mrs. C's death is not my fault and Jesse was not in Hell because he was vamped."

"Yes, quite… on to the final big lie. The entity told you that you were of no use to us. I assure you that is far from the truth."

Xander smiled uncomfortably. "I know that I'm pretty useful now, but back then I…"

"You were still useful!" Buffy spoke up. "Yeah, you weren't all Super Xander and Ripper the Wonder Dragon back then, but you still were useful. You saved my life. You went down into The Master's cave, with no way of knowing it was vamp free, and you gave me CPR and saved my life. Other may know CPR, but you're the only one who has used it to bring me back to life. You also kept our spirits up, and came up with outside the box solutions, and you jumped into an unknown Hell Dimension just to save me from having to send Angel there myself. We may not have appreciated you properly while you were around, but we have had plenty of time since then to realize how much you contributed to the group. And… even when you were gone… your memory and sacrifice helped me to keep on fighting when I wanted to quit. Don't ever think you were useless!"

Xander stared into Buffy's eyes and gently brushed away the tears running down her cheeks. After a long moment, he leaned in and laid a loving kiss on her forehead before giving her a hug.

"Thank you, Buffy. That means a lot."

Giles cleared his throat. "It should be noted that it appears that it wasn't only your memory that helped us while you were… on your journey"

Xander looked at Giles with a questioning look. Giles took off his glasses to clean them before putting them back on to continue speaking.

"A few years back, there was a demonic cult known as the Sisterhood of Jhe. They were attempting to reopen the Hellmouth. They had achieved minor success, where they did succeed in opening it slightly. What emerged was a creature that one might describe as a brownish demon beanstalk, with a face full of teeth and smaller faces full of teeth. During the fight, the demon began to screech in what seemed to be both pain and anger, even when we were not successfully injuring it. It seemed to become somewhat distracted and was not given us its full attention. Then there was a flash of white light, followed by a portion of the demon's base suddenly being separated from the whole, which caused it to begin to sink back into the Hellmouth. And that's when I saw…"

Giles trailed off, clearly uncomfortable. Xander groaned and spoke. "And that's when you saw a hand pop out of the Hellmouth?"

"… Yes"

"So… who stabbed the offending extremity and then stomped on the evil digits?"

Giles cleared his throat, painfully aware of everyone in the room staring at him with extreme interest. "I performed the stabbing. Cordelia saw me stabbing the hand and then ran in to stomp on the fingers. Had I known it was your hand… I am sorry my boy"

Everyone in the room turned to look at Xander, awaiting his reaction with bated breath. At first, his face was a picture of dull shock. Then, his lips upturned slightly. Next, came a few giggles. The giggles became more numerous and then transformed to full belly laughs. Soon the tension was broken, and others joined in his laughter. As the laughter tapered off, he smiled broadly.

"Well, if Cordy is sore about me jumping into the portal, I now have ammunition to use against her. Though… she'll probably still turn her stomping my fingers around on me, and claim I ruined her shoes."

As everyone smiled and nodded at that basic truth of the personality of Cordelia Chase, Xander's expression turned to contemplation and then shock.

"Damn it!"

"What?" asked a startled Dawn.

"I just realized, that my portal took me to where I was aiming for. I wanted it to take me to the Hellmouth, and it did. I was just on the wrong side. Huh! I wonder if it was just because I wasn't clear with what I wanted, or if it's because it's just hard to create a portal to Earth if you've never done it before."

He shrugged his shoulders and then looked up at Giles.

"Tell you what G-Man, since you stabbed me in the hand and flung me back into Hell, you get to spring for lunch today."

Giles sighed while cleaning glasses. "Can I presume that is not the last time you are going to play that particular card to get me to do what you want?"

Xander just grinned in response.

As Giles grumbled and began to poll the Scoobies about their desires for lunch, Buffy asked Xander to join her for a stroll around the neighborhood to stretch their legs.

* * *

Buffy and Xander strolled down the street in comfortable silence for five minutes, enjoying each other's company. He could tell that she was working on how to articulate a thought, so he reveled in the sun caressing his skin as he felt the warmth of her hand holding his.

"Xan?"

"Yes, Buff?"

"Was that demon, right? Did you decide it wasn't me because you couldn't believe I would ever be interested in you, romantically?"

Xander chuckled. "No. I had no problem believing you would be interested in me… or at least willing to lie and tell me that you were interested in me so that you could free me from a Hell Dimension."

As he responded, Buffy's expression transitioned from tense, to happy, to slightly sad. It was with a false cheer that she responded. "… I guess… but then what tipped you off?"

Xander gently squeezed her hand as he answered. "Do you remember those demons that were following it's commands?"

"The… Turkey Hands?"

"Turok-Han, yeah. And that thing she wanted me to open? The Seal of …"

"Dancer Hair?"

"Danzalthar, right. That is what tipped me off."

"Huh?"

"Buff, there are so many amazing things about you. You are kind, beautiful, clever, funny, brave, and just an overall wonderful person. But I have never known you to ever be able to correctly repeat a weird demon name without a ton of practice. Having you blatantly throwing yourself at me is still in the realm of possibility, but you managing to not mangle the words Turok-Han and Danzalthar with less than a week's practice… that is about as likely as me declaring my eternal love for Angel."

Buffy laughed and knocked her shoulder into his. "Hey! I'm not that bad! What if I had changed and gotten better at Giles-speak? You would have given up on coming home for nothing. That was a big risk you took."

"Buff, any dimension where you say Turok-Han instead of Turkey Hands is a dimension not worth living in."

They both laughed together as Buffy moved her arm around Xander's back to position them into a side hug, his arm reaching around her to allow her to nestle her head against his side.

"Well, I'm glad that demon thingy didn't speak Giles-speak. That's just sloppy work. I'm happy you know me so well."

"Well… I don't create war cries for just anybody."

"Darn right you don't! Although, there was something it was right about."

"Oh?"

"You do have a drool-worthy chest."

Xander chuckled. "I'm glad something good came from my time fighting the demonic hordes."

"Me too, and… it was also right about my feelings for you having changed since you jumped into that damned portal."

Xander turned to face Buffy, looking into her eyes. The air between them suddenly feeling very warm, and his throat feeling very dry. "And… how do you feel about me now?"

Buffy stared into his eyes and smiled nervously. She then slowly leaned in closer to Xander. She spoke no words, but her answer was still clear.

* * *

After their thoroughly enjoyable stroll, they returned for a pleasant lunch. Everyone settled into hear more of Xander's journey. If anyone noticed that Xander and Buffy were sitting just a touch closer to each other and seemed to be sporting dopey smiles, they didn't mention it.

As was usual, Ripper leapt into the lap of an expectant Giles and promptly fell asleep to the even prompter ear scratches.

Xander then began his story.

"Now, the important thing to know about the Turok-Han is that they are apparently just a different type of vampire. So, they have the same weaknesses to holy relics, fire, and beheadings as our local breed. They're a bit quicker and stronger, but Buffy can attest that Ripper and I are also a bit quicker and stronger as well. However, there were a LOT of them…"

* * *

Xander was tired. Tired and filthy. He had lost count of how many of these demons he and Ripper had killed. However, based on the fact that he was standing in a pile of vamp dust that was easily two feet deep, it was fair to say that it was an excessive number of demons. Both he and Ripper were coated in dust. Xander's sweat gave his dust covering the consistency of thick mud, and Ripper's constant flames had baked in the dusty grime.

Both man and dragon wanted nothing more than to leave the battle and rest. While the Turok-Han's influx flow had transformed from a raging river to a gentle stream, they were still not allowing any sort of break. Whereas they started attacking at a rate of hundreds per minute, they were now down to dozens per minute.

Luckily, the two defenders had a mental connection that let them predict each other's movements and work together as one unit. Additionally, the attackers still threw themselves at the defenders without regard to tactics or self-preservation, which helped to predict their movements.

Physically, their healing factors and the claimed energies of a Hell God kept them working at their peak. Mentally, though, staying at their peak was exhausting.

"Ripper, we need to get out of here."

Ripper sent the desire for a portal.

A dozen Turok-Han rushed in from Xander's left, while another two-dozen rushed in from his right, all avoiding his front where Ripper's mouth was pointing. They may not have had much in the way of tactics, but they had finally figured out "don't run into dragon fire" after the first ten or twenty thousand of their brethren had ran straight at the fire.

Xander rolled over Ripper's neck to meet the two-dozen on his left. His momentum nudging Ripper's neck to the right so the dozen on the right could be caught in a burst of dragon flame.

As Xander jumped into the center of the two-dozen, he spun like a deadly top in their midst. Joyce's blazing fire of both holy and unholy flames quickly claimed the existence of twenty more Turok-Han. The remaining four leapt away from Xander and directly at the deadly dragon.

As they neared Ripper's exposed side, claws prepared to rend flesh, the dragon instantly transformed into a small dog and the Turok-Han flew through empty air as Ripper's smaller form twisted around and returned to dragon form in time to catch three Turok-Han in his jaws and slash a front claw up to separate the last demon from its head.

"Obviously we need a portal, but what if they follow us through"

Ripper sent the desire for two fruits growing rapidly on a tree.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Did you… did you just tell me to grow a pair?"

Up to that point in his life, Xander was unaware that a dragon could roll its eyes sarcastically.

A pack of thirty Turok-Han had decided to try a leaping attack directly at where Xander was standing, probably assuming the dragon would not fire on its master. Xander shoved Joyce into the ground at an angle and used the force to push him forward as he dropped to the ground to slide under Ripper. As Ripper breathed on the foolish thirty, Xander came up behind his friend to cleave through the flesh of the dozen enemies sneaking up from behind. He then ducked to narrowly avoid the powerful dragon tail that whipped into the last Turok-Han hard enough to force its rib into its heart and cause a new layer of dust to join the pile.

"Fine. Here's hoping for a place where they can't cause much trouble. A shower would be nice too. Watch my back!"

Ripper transformed to his dog form, hopped on Xander's head, and began to spin around quickly while bellowing a seemingly impossible amount of flame. As the Turok-Han found themselves engulfed in a cyclone of flame, Xander pointed Joyce at the ground and created a portal, dumping a sizable amount of vamp dust through the opening between dimensions. Ripper stopped his flame barrage as Xander cradled him into his chest. With a quick hop, the two were no longer in the cavern. Of the Turok-Han, five and a half made it through the portal before it closed.

* * *

The first thing that Xander noticed when he landed on the ground of this new dimension was that it appeared to be raining. A pleasantly hot rain at that.

The second thing he noticed was that a few Turok-Han were falling through portal after him. He responded quickly and a lance of green fire closed the portal. He did note with amusement that the portal had closed around the bottom half of one of the demons, which rapidly transformed from legs to dust.

He quickly dispatched four of the remaining Turok-Han and kicked the fifth away from himself so he could scrabble up from the smooth tile ground.

The smooth tile ground led to him noticing the third thing, which was that he appeared to be in a massive and luxurious shower.

The fourth thing he noticed was that the final Turok-Han had not attacked. It was in fact being held by an angry looking woman (covered in a thick coating of dust and mud) who casually ripped the head off the demon.

The fifth thing he noticed was the woman was likely not a normal woman. This was mainly noticed when she movied at a speed he could barely follow, followed by her punching him in the face hard enough to send him flying through both the air and several extremely hard walls.

The sixth thing he noticed was when he landed in the courtyard of an impressive and disturbing looking palace. Each cloud in the sky was the face of a demon screaming in either anger or pain (possibly both). As such, he now knew he was still in a Hell Dimension (though the flight through several stone walls was a decent hint in this direction).

The seventh and last thing he noticed possibly explained the anger of the woman. It led him to believe he may have accidentally dumped two feet of vamp dust on her while she was taking a shower. This belief seemed highly likely, because the last thing he noticed was that the grime covered woman, who was rushing in for another attack, was both extremely livid and extremely nude.

And that is how Xander Harris met the Hell Goddess named Glorificus.


	10. Chapter 10 - Journey's End

Xander waited patiently as the female contingent of his audience laughed at his misfortune. He was pleased to see that Tara was chuckling at the story as well. He had known that Glory would have been rough on the people of Sunnydale, especially those she had to feed on. So, it was nice to see that the healing was already in progress. He then looked over at Giles and saw him chuckling silently as well.

"What are you laughing at, G-Man? How do you think the ladies here would react if you barged in on them while they were in the shower? Where's the male solidarity?"

Giles calmed his face while his eyes danced with mirth. "Yes, you are of course quite correct, Xander. I imagine I would be in for quite a bit of pain, were I in your position. But you are forgetting two key things."

"And those are?"

"Firstly, you clearly survived the encounter. Second, and most importantly, it didn't happen to me."

The girls laughed louder as Xander leaned back and grumbled light-heartedly.

After a few more minutes, the laughter died down and Xander was encouraged to continue the story.

* * *

As Xander slowly made to stand up, the grime covered Hell Goddess rushed forward. Her movements were just shy of a blur, but still too fast to dodge from his current position. As such, his breath was knocked out of him as he was sent skyward with the powerful kick to his stomach.

His ascent slowed down about fifty feet up in the air, which is when he caught his breath.

"Ripper, a flight would be nice right about now."

Ripper transformed from his dog form into his dragon form, and quickly flew to the ground. Landing right in front of the angry woman.

Before she could make a rush, Ripper pre-emptively shot a gout of flame which made a direct hit. As the flame ceased, Xander was shocked to see she was completely unharmed. The only difference was that her muddy covering was now more of a baked in mud that was flaking steadily.

"Oh sh…"

She zoomed forward, this time Xander managed to barely dodge the fist that was attempting to add a sizable hole to his head. Still, he counted it as a victory.

"Listen…"

Shift left to avoid a kick.

"I'm sorry for dropping in…"

Duck to avoid a roundhouse punch.

"Can't we just…"

Jump back to avoid a knee to the crotch, unfortunately getting slightly clipped. Xander's voice temporarily rose an octave.

"…talk?"

Seeing his owner injured, Ripper leapt in to bite the woman in half. She twisted in time to punch Ripper in the side of the head, sending the dragon into the nearest wall. Xander's eyes widened when Ripper did not move. He prayed his dog/dragon was just knocked out, but he feared the worst. His eyes shifted to the livid woman.

Up until this point, Xander was trying to avoid the conflict. He had been thrown off by the familiarity of a shower like he would find on Earth and a woman who looked human, so he had assigned her as a human woman in his mind. He was used to Buffy, so super-strong women didn't faze him. He had been sure he would have talked things out after dodging long enough. But, now… now he remembered that monsters can look human and he killed monsters. His eyes hardened.

"You… hurt Ripper!"

The woman smirked and began to rush forward again but paused in mid-step when Xander's sword erupted in swirling green and white flame. She then spoke for the first time since Xander met her.

"So, you have a fancy knife. Do you honestly think an insect like you could scare me, even with your flaming toothpick? I am a Goddess, and you are… nothing! Maybe I'll keep that and your spine as souvenirs."

She rushed forward again, and Xander dodge the blow. With his attention completely focused on the fight, he could now easily see that she was an unskilled fighter. He supposed when you have overwhelming speed and strength, technique is not needed. He knew he didn't have the best technique, but he had developed a unique style that fit him well when fighting stronger and faster opponents. Still she was so damn fast that she managed to side-step Joyce's strike.

The fight continued this way for a while, neither one managing to land a blow. And then, Xander blinked when a piece of baked muddy ash flaked off the woman's body and into his eye.

It was not an exceptionally long blink, as normal blinks go. But, with the speed of the fight, it might as well have been a cat nap. With his eyes closed, he felt a wave of pure power approach and touch his face, followed nearly immediately by the impact of a fist. His head snapped to the side, followed by his body. He spun like a top through the air and collided with the nearby wall (twenty feet away).

He snapped back to his feet and rejoined the fight, just barely avoiding the follow-up kick to his ribs. As he fought, his mind wandered to one thought. The fist impacted his face nearly immediately after the wave of power touched him. NEARLY immediately! There was a delay. It was slight. Barely perceptible. But there WAS a delay.

He stretched his senses to feel for the power from his opponent. In previous fights, he was used to instinctually listening for the slightest movements, feeling the air pressure shifts, and seeing the slight muscle movements that let him predict where his opponents were going to strike. This was different. This was simply… power. Probably a sense he picked up during his fight with Acathla, that he hadn't realized he had. When he extended the sense to the woman's body, he was overwhelmed and had to rely on his other senses as the battle raged. If she was a goddess, then he guessed it would make sense that her physical body was constraining her overall power. It was still frustrating, since he knew that he sensed the power before the body had hit.

He focused his senses on her approaching fist, and the air around it. Then he felt it! He could sense the borders of her power. It was like feeling a smudged chalk outline existing a couple inches from her skin.

As he felt for the power, he began to dodge her with more room to spare. He felt a surge of vicious joy when he managed to score a shallow cut on her upper leg. With that first cut, she let out a scream of rage and Xander felt her power spike higher. Instead of giving her an advantage, the border of her power expanded slightly and became clearer and Xander was given even more time to dodge her and score hits.

As her skin started to become covered in increasingly deeper slices and her hits kept missing by larger margins, her fighting started to become ever more desperate. Tears of frustration and pain filled her eyes as she tried to win the fight.

Xander saw the tears in the woman's eyes and started to contemplate offering her a chance at surrender. As the thought entered his head, he looked to Ripper and saw his pet/friend was still unmoving. The thought of mercy fled from his heart as he decided to end the fight.

He shifted to the left, placing himself directly in front of her right shoulder. She predictably lashed out with her right fist to punch his face. He felt her following through with a step forward to knee him in the groin. He twisted his body to face his right side to her, while lifting Joyce up. He pulled his arm back, as her fist began to pass by his face. He thrust forward with all his might as her foot completed its step forward. His aim was true. This was it!

And then… everything stopped.

His power senses were overwhelmed as Joyce froze in mid-thrust. The woman was likewise restrained from movement.

Standing in between the two combatants stood a tall, powerful man. One of his hands restrained the woman. The other hand firmly held Joyce's burning blade between two vise-like fingertips, the fingers clearly healing as quickly as the flames burned the flesh away. The tip of the blade stopped an eighth of an inch away from the woman's wide open and terrified eyeball.

"Glorificus!" the man bellowed at the woman. "Go to your room! And, along the way, do try not to pick fights with entities who have already killed a Hell God."

With that, the man shoved Glorificus away from Xander, sending her flying back through the holes that Xander had made on his path from the shower.

The man then looked at Xander and was suddenly standing twenty feet away. Xander had not seen him move, nor do he feel him move. When attempting to sense his power outline, there was just a permeating nearly overwhelming power. Xander stared at the man warily and was surprised by the genuinely friendly face that the man had.

"I apologize for not stepping in earlier, God Killer. I was curious if your defeat of Acathla was a mere fluke and am pleased to see that it was not. I admit I was surprised by how quickly you figured out the trick to bypassing her strength and speed, and I would appreciate it if you do not inform her of what mistake she is making. Her, and her brothers are an arrogant lot who could use someone to knock them down a few notches. I try to raise my children to be proper Hell Gods, but they're still young and stupid. Kids! Am I right!?"

* * *

"WHAT!?"

The question came from multiple people at once. Xander shrugged.

"Yeah, I know that's unfair. I don't think all kids are stupid, but George is a Hell God and so you can't really expect him to be overly fair."

Giles sighed. "Was his name really George, or is this like the demon you called Chuck because you couldn't pronounce his name?"

Xander smiled. "He told me that he wasn't going to tell me his name. Apparently, he was one of the Hell Gods who walked the Earth before it was poisoned by the old humans, and so his true name holds power. He also told me that he was a loyal general for the God King Illyria, though he escaped being trapped in something called the Deeper Well. The only bad-ass general I could think of at the time was George S. Patton, you know the movie guy, and so I offered to call him George. He said that it was fine."

Giles shook his head in exasperation.

Buffy spoke up. "What do you mean that she was a kid? The monks had been guarding against her for centuries, and she was like no kid I've ever met."

Xander smiled fondly. "You have to remember that time moves weirdly in Hell Dimensions. Yeah, she was thousands of years old when I met her. But her dad was millions of years old at that point. Baby Hell Gods are born as some of the strongest entities in their dimension, and don't really have a need to mature all that quickly when they have immortal Hell Gods as parents. Also, it's not like the adult Hell Gods are overly interested in the whole 'nurturing parent' role. So, physically she looked like an adult, but emotionally and power-wise she was nowhere close to an adult. I guess she must have matured on Earth if she didn't seem like a kid to you. The last time I saw her she was constantly throwing tantrums whenever she didn't get exactly what she wanted, would throw fits over minor things, was easily fooled by simple tricks, and simply whined a lot. How did she act for you guys?"

Everyone looked around at each other, mouths slightly agape. Giles was the first to speak. "Oh, Good Lord! We were fighting a bloody toddler!? The Earth was nearly destroyed by a toddler throwing a temper tantrum!"

Xander laughed. "Yeah, that sounds like my little Morning Glory. At least the poisoned magic of the Earth weakened her up for you guys."

Willow perked up. "You said that before. What do you mean the magic is poisoned, mister? Because Tara and I have been casting magic for a while and I've never felt any poison. Have you, Tara?"

Tara shook her head in confusion.

Giles also looked interested by the question, as he leaned forward slightly (taking care to not disturb the snoozing dog on his lap).

"I actually thought this part was neat. I remember G-Man's 'The world is older than you know' speech, but I had never really thought about that speech being only from the human point of view. George gave me the history lesson from the viewpoint of the opposing army. You see, some of the super powerful demons got themselves trapped in that Deeper Well thing, but not all of them were caught. The leftovers were still powerful enough to possibly destroy the planet. But the humans did something that a demon would never consider. They sacrificed their own power. They poisoned the magic of the Earth so that the magic is self-destructive to the user. If you only use a little bit, you may just get tired. If you use too much, the magic will corrupt and destroy you. The uncaptured Hell Gods and True Demons had to rush out of this dimension because their base level of passive magic was quickly destroying them."

Giles was enraptured. "That's… incredible! But, how does that allow for vampires, minor demons, and the occasional threats like The Judge?"

"All of those can be destroyed by The Slayer, the sun, or just enough explosives. The old Big Bads wouldn't have even noticed an A-Bomb."

Tara spoke up quietly. "Magic Addiction!"

"Huh?"

Tara blushed, but continued to talk. "My mom taught me to be careful with using too much magic. It starts to corrupt you, and you can become addicted to the power. Those who become addicted always turn to the dark. I thought it was just power corrupting, but if the magic is poisoned…"

Xander shrugged. "Maybe. I don't claim to know all the details, and all the loopholes. I do know that those of a certain base power can't come here for a long time, or they'll self-destruct. That's why Acathla wanted to suck the Earth into his dimension instead of invading. Everything else just instinctually decreases how much power they can use in a short time, or else they die. Glory was young enough that she was able to lower her power down to survivable levels. She probably even developed some sort of camouflage to use when she needed to hide out and limit her power usage even further."

Tara nodded at that. "Was that why she…" Tara uncomfortably touched her head.

Xander's expression saddened. "Partially. Her family feeds off the mental energy of the demons in her dimension, which the demons just naturally emit into the general energy of the dimension. Without the free-floating mental energy, she would have been starving and would have burned off her reserves quickly just to keep from dying. I am truly sorry, Tara."

Tara nodded again and cuddled into Willow.

As Buffy's forehead creased in confusion, Willow spoke up. "But we were told that Glory had been around for a long time, and that she kicked out for being too powerful and vicious."

Xander smiled. "Well, with an unstable portal, it's possible the news of her coming preceded her full arrival. Kind of like prophecies, I guess. Time can be funky. As for her being too powerful and vicious… I'm guessing she spread those rumors. She probably used her quickly dwindling power to overpower some local Big Bads, and then spread the rumors to make the demon community avoid her or worship her. It's like those prison movies where they beat up the biggest inmate to keep people from messing with them. Then again, she is pretty narcistic and may truly believe that her brothers are afraid of her power and intentionally shoved her into the portal. Like George said… Kids! Am I right!?"

Buffy frowned. "What about you Xan? You're all super powerful guy now, what's going to happen to you?"

Xander squeezed her hand. "My power is already draining Buff. On our patrols, I can already feel myself getting slower and weaker. I don't know how far I'll drop down, but it'll probably be at Slayer levels. The same applies to Ripper. It's part of why he has been snoozing so much. He'll probably end up staying in dog form with Slayer strength and speed, capable of a few bouts of flame each day. That's the cost our ancestors paid. The titanic monsters have limited time and ability to wreak havoc on the Earth, but the titanic heroes have the same limitations. They could only save humanity by forcing a balance."

The room remained silent for a while, save the snores of a demon dog.

Finally, Xander broke the silence.

"Well, to wrap things up. George offered to let me use his dimension as a home base. I would travel to random dimensions, to see if I could find my way home. And then I would recuperate in his dimension for a decade or two. I had some adventures along the way. I met an odd demon who had a bunch of employees who granted monkey-paw type wishes, who kept trying to trick me into making wishes. He also had one employee who really hated me, but I think that was more because I was a guy. There was one dimension which advertises as the darkest of all the dimensions, though it seemed like a skilled regular human could get along fine. I met a troll god, who was a surprisingly friendly guy. Even once got into a frighteningly intense fight with a giant highly aggressive sheep. Eventually, Glory activated the Key energy to create the portal to Earth, and… here I am. That's pretty much it."

Giles stared at Xander suspiciously. "Hell Gods do not strike me as overly generous individuals. What did you have to do for… George?"

Xander looked embarrassed. "Well, you see, George could never go too far away from the castle. Every time he left for a couple of hours, the kids would get into big fights and end up destroying large swaths of the castle and the surrounding grounds. A two-hour trip might result in a few years of repairs required. But I could beat up Glory and her brothers, so they respected me enough to listen to me, which let George visit the corners of his dimension for days or weeks on end without fear of what happened while he was away. That was the price I had to pay. Nothing evil or anything."

Giles forced down a grin. "In summation… you killed Acathla, you killed countless high-level demons, you fought through multiple Hell Dimensions, nearly killed Glory, you did all of that and became a figure of demonic legend. After all those trials, you decided to accept a job as a babysitter?"

"… yes"

Giles laughed. "Only you, Xander. I've been Buffy's watcher, so I can sympathize."

"Hey!" shouted an indignant Buffy.

Giles grinned at Buffy's shout. "And Glory called you Uncle Xan because…"

"Because I'm a really good babysitter."

Dawn chimed in. "Damn right!"

Xander laughed lightly and stood up with a smile. "Well, that's my story. I think I'll take a quick bathroom break. When I come back, let's talk about food. I'm thinking of tacos for some reason."

* * *

Shortly after the bathroom door closed, the front door opened and in walked two women. One was a stranger, and one was well known.

"Faith!" Buffy called to her sister slayer. She stood from the couch and gave the dark-haired slayer a quick hug (an action that Faith would only accept from Buffy and Dawn).

"Hey B! Little D! Red, Red Squeeze, G, nice pup you got there"

Buffy smiled at Faith. "What are you doing here? Who's this? You won't believe the news I have for you!"

Faith smiled right back. "I bet my news is bigger than yours. Me and Fang, we just got back from a little dimension hop to a place called Pylea where we rescued Ms. Texas over here. Guess who she knows!"

"Hey guys" called a voice from the hallway. "What are people thinking for food? Oh! Hello… Fred, is that you?"

Winifred "Fred" Burkle squealed and sprinted towards Xander. She leaped into the air and was easily caught by the man, who she hugged very tightly. As she was leaping through the air, she happily screamed two words.

"KING XANDER!"

Xander looked at the expectant looks of the people in the room. He sighed.

"Let's get some tacos first. Because this… this is a whole other story."

The End

* * *

AUTHOR NOTE – This is the end of the story I wanted to tell. I want to thank all of you for reading the story. For those who left a review, I have appreciated the feedback (both positive and negative). I hope you have enjoyed this story. This was my first attempt at writing a multi-chapter story where I had a mostly defined plot, and I am glad that some people have enjoyed joining me on then journey.

At some point, I might add short stories that explore some of the other dimensions that Xander could have visited, and possibly his Pylea experience. For now, though, I have told the story I wanted to tell.

Thank you again for reading.


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